Page 59 of One Summer

He pours out the tea and I drop an ice cube into mine and then add another.

‘I bet I can guess it. You’re a nice, middle-class girl who went to a good university to study something meaningful. Probably English… Or history, and you’ve just come out of a bad break-up.’

‘Wrong.’

‘Are you upper-class? Does your daddy have a title?’

‘Yes, he does,’ I say. ‘Bare-Knuckle Fighter of the Year, 2024.’

So how about you shut up before I invite him over to say hello in his own special way?

He stares at me, not sure if I’m joking, but then he smiles, and it is an admittedly nice smile.

‘How old is your dad?’ he asks, a question I am not expecting. ‘If he’s still bare-knuckle fighting, I guess he must still be young?’

He hasn’t seemed at all interested in me, but now he is. Suddenly, all he wants is to ask me questions. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to him that my dad is not actually a champion bare-knuckle fighter, or that my answer might have been sarcasm.

‘Forty-four.’

‘But you’re – what, twenty-five?’

‘Twenty-six.’

'So he must have knocked your mum up when he was seventeen or eighteen?’

‘Excellent maths.’

‘How old was your mum?’

‘The same age, but how is this any of your business? You haven’t even told me your name.’

‘I did.’

‘You told me your nickname. I presume “Cally Grey Pubes” is not on your birth certificate.’

He hums to himself.

‘How are the snakes?’ he asks, suddenly. ‘Some of those bull snakes have serious attitude. Have you been bitten yet?’

I shake my head. ‘Sorry to disappoint you.’

‘You’re not scared of snakes?’

‘Why do people keep asking me that? I’d have hardly taken the job if I was. The snakes are not the problem. The snakes, so far, have been impeccably behaved.’

‘So, what is the problem?’ he asks.

‘The problem…’ I say, momentously. ‘Is Nemo and Ted. Ted has a scratch on the end of his nose. It’s bleeding. I’ve had to put Germolene on it.’

‘Is the cat okay?’

‘Relatively unscathed – so far – but he has started shedding an unusual amount of hair, as well as some whiskers. Plus, he just looks really sad.’

‘Oh.’

‘If somebody could just take Ted for a few days…’ I say, getting to the real reason why I’m here, drinking his insanely strong tea. ‘Maybe Nemo would have a chance to settle in and get comfortable in his new home.’

‘Somebody?’ he enquires, looking around.

---