Page 18 of His Mafia Sweetheart

But he's here. He's alive and whole and safe, and the relief of it crashes over me like a tidal wave. I came so close to losing him, to having his blood on my hands in the most literal sense. The thought makes my stomach turn, bile rising in my throat.

"Had to," I croak, my thumb stroking over his knuckles. "Couldn't let him hurt you. Couldn't...couldn't lose you, sunshine. Not again."

Eli makes a wounded sound, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. "You fucking idiot," he chokes out, bringing my hand to his lips. He presses a fervent kiss to my palm, his breath hot and damp against my skin.

"Don't you ever, ever do that again, you hear me? I can't...I won't survive losing you, Nico. It would kill me, just as surely as a bullet to the heart."

I swallow hard, my own eyes stinging with the threat of tears. "I'm sorry," I rasp, cupping his jaw with a shaking hand. "I'm so fucking sorry, Eli. For everything. For pushing you away, for being such a coward, for almost dying on you like that-"

He silences me with a kiss, his lips soft and desperate against my own. I drink him in like a man dying of thirst, my hand sliding into his hair to pull him closer. He tastes of salt and sorrow, of joy and relief and love, so much fucking love I feel like I might shatter with the force of it.

"No more apologies," Eli breathes against my mouth, his forehead pressed to mine. "No more secrets, no more pushing me away. We do this together now, Nico. You and me, come hell or high water. Okay?"

I nod, my throat too tight for words. I've never been good at this, at baring my soul and letting someone see the broken, jagged pieces of me. But for Eli...for this brilliant, brave, beautiful man who owns my heart and soul...I'll try. I'll rip myself open and bleed truth, if that's what it takes to keep him by my side.

The days pass in a haze of pain and healing, of whispered confessions and fervent promises. Eli never leaves my side, his presence a balm to my battered body and soul. He holds me through the worst of the pain, murmuring sweet nonsense and brushing the sweat-soaked hair from my brow.

And in the quiet moments, the stolen snatches of peace...he looks at me with such raw, naked love, it takes my breath away. Like I'm something precious, something cherished beyond measure. Like I'm the center of his whole fucking universe, the sun around which he orbits.

It's terrifying and humbling and exhilarating all at once. I've never been loved like this, with such wholehearted devotion and unwavering faith. I feel like a fraud sometimes, unworthy of the gift Eli's offering me so freely.

Because as much as I love him, as much as I want to build a life with him...I'm still the man I've always been. The killer, the monster, the soulless bastard who was born and bred for violence and brutality.

Can I really walk away from that? From the only life I've ever known, the bloody legacy that's carved into my bones? The thought of facing my father, of telling him I'm leaving the family business to play house with a fucking florist...it makes my blood run cold.

He'll never allow it. He'll hunt us to the ends of the earth, burn everything we love to ash and dust. And that's if he's feeling merciful. More likely, he'll make an example of Eli, torture him in front of me until I'm begging for death, for the sweet release of a bullet between the eyes.

The thought makes me sick to my stomach, cold sweat breaking out on my brow. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen, not to Eli. He's the one pure thing in my life, the one shining light in a sea of blood and darkness. I'd rather cut out my own heart than see that light extinguished.

But what choice do I have? I can't go back to the way things were, can't pretend that Eli doesn't own me body and soul. The mere thought of letting him go, of watching him walk away and build a life without me...it's like a knife to the gut, a physical ache that steals my breath.

I'm trapped between two impossible choices, damned if I do and damned if I don't. And the worst part is, I know Eli sees it. He sees the turmoil tearing me apart, the fear and indecision shadowing my eyes.

He doesn't push, doesn't demand answers I can't give. But I feel the weight of his gaze on me, the silent plea in those summer-sky eyes. Choose me, they seem to say. Choose us, choose the life we could have together. Please, Nico...don't throw away the best thing that's ever happened to us.

It all comes to a head one night, as we lay twined together in the tangled sheets of my bed. Eli's head is pillowed on my chest, his fingers tracing idle patterns on my skin. The air between us is charged, heavy with all the words we're not saying.

"Nico," Eli whispers, his voice small and vulnerable in the darkness. "I need...I need to know what happens now. With us, with...everything."

I close my eyes, a shuddering breath escaping my lungs. "I don't know," I answer honestly, my throat tight and aching. "I want...fuck, Eli, I want so many things. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I want to build a life with you, a future that's not stained with blood and bullets. I want...I want you, more than I've ever wanted anything in my miserable fucking life."

Eli makes a soft, wounded sound, his fingers clenching against my skin. "Then have me," he breathes, tipping his head back to meet my gaze. His eyes are shining with unshed tears, his lips trembling with emotion. "I'm yours, Nico. Heart, body and soul. I always have been, from the moment you first walked into my shop and turned my world upside down."

I swallow hard, my heart slamming against my ribs. "It's not that simple," I rasp, my voice cracking with the force of my longing. "My father...the family...they'll never let me go, Eli. They'll hunt us down, make us pay for daring to defy them. I can't...I can't put you in that kind of danger. Not again. It would fucking destroy me if something happened to you because of me."

Eli's jaw clenches, a fierce light sparking to life in his eyes. "I don't care," he says, low and intense. "I don't care about the danger, or the risks, or the fucking mafia. All I care about is you, Nico. Us. What we have, what we could be together."

He sits up, the sheets pooling around his waist. In the moonlight filtering through the curtains, his skin glows like polished marble, his hair a halo of spun gold. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and the sight of him steals the breath from my lungs.

"I love you," he says, the words ringing with conviction. "I love you more than life itself, Nico Caruso. And I'll be damned if I let your father or anyone else stand in the way of that love. So you have a choice to make, right here and now. You can choose fear and loyalty to a toxic, poisonous way of life...or you can choose me. Choose us, and the future we could build together."

Eli takes my face in his hands, his touch achingly gentle. "I'm not asking you to change who you are," he whispers, his breath ghosting over my lips. "I know the darkness is a part of you, the violence and the ruthlessness. I've always known that, and I love you anyway. All I'm asking is that you love me enough to fight for us. To believe that what we have is stronger than their hate and their bullets and their fucking blood oaths."

I stare at him, my heart in my throat and my pulse pounding in my ears. In that moment, with Eli's eyes boring into mine and his hands cradling my face like I'm something precious...the choice is crystal clear. The only choice, the only path forward that doesn't end in misery and regret.

"Okay," I rasp, the word tearing out of me like a bullet from a wound. "Okay, baby. You win. I choose you, I choose us. Fuck the family, fuck my father and his poisonous empire. I'm yours, Eli. Now and forever, come hell or high water."

Eli's smile is blinding, brighter than the fucking sun. He surges forward, capturing my lips in a kiss that sears me to the bone. I groan into his mouth, my hands coming up to fist in his hair, to pull him closer until there's not a breath of space between us.

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