Page 87 of Old Girls on Deck

Enrico held up his number 4 paddle and we crowded around him. He was knowledgeable, very thorough, in need of a wash and somehow slightly dull.

‘I want to know about the Minoans. Where did they go?’ Diana asked.

‘It’s thought that the tsunami following the eruption here devastated the Minoan settlements on Crete,’ Enrico replied, clearly not pleased to have his flow interrupted.

‘We’re not going to Crete, are we?’ I asked and Evelyn giggled.

‘Not this time, but I am told it’s lovely,’ she said.

We pressed on, Enrico making sense of the scene in front of us, which to me at least, looked little more than ruins, abandoned wine flasks and a fair amount of new, wooden props.

I think after the talk was over, Enrico was looking forward to some time without our questions and went to sit in the shade of the cafe awnings with a rather pretty waitress who had been tossing her hair around and pouting rather obviously in his direction. But after our unexpected adventures in Pompeii, we weren’t letting him out of our sight, and trailed around after him like a fan girl group. Sometimes at a distance but never far away.

‘I wonder what is happening back on the ship?’ Diana said.

We were sitting two tables away from Enrico and his giggling companion, enjoying some icy lemonade, while Enrico swigged beer from a bottle in a way that suggested he was showing off for his admirer. Meanwhile she examined her manicure and twirled the ends of her hair.

‘Funny, isn’t it?’ I said at last, having watched their display for a few minutes. ‘Nothing changes really. The young male of the species sprawls all over the chair, being expansive and loud, with large but casual gestures. While she is all twisted up in a knot of insecurity. He is scruffy and needs a shower while she is gorgeous and groomed to within an inch of her life. I feel like going up to her and whispering you can do so much better, but she probably sees him through hormone goggles.’

Diana laughed. ‘Hormone goggles. Is that like beer goggles but worse?’

‘Don’t you remember how it felt? Longing for some spotty oik to pay you attention, or at least be gracious enough to take his gum out before he snogged you behind the bus shelter? Not exactly the behaviour of a gentleman.’

‘In my day you knew a man was a gentleman if he took his hat off in a lift,’ Evelyn said.

We sat and thought about this for a few minutes and then all started laughing.

Across the way, Enrico was fiddling with his phone and the girl was pretending to straighten her apron. Something that involved her standing up and wriggling a great deal.

‘I wouldn’t be young again for all the tea in China,’ Evelyn sighed at last, ‘it’s all too difficult.’

‘So how did you know Douglas was the man for you?’ Diana asked.

Evelyn pursed her lips thoughtfully.

‘He was interested in me, he was respectful, he made me laugh and he had beautiful shoes. That was always something my mother insisted was important.’

‘And he took his hat off in a lift?’ I laughed.

‘Every time,’ Evelyn agreed.

‘And that’s all?’ Diana asked. ‘It was enough to be going on with?’

‘What else does one need? It’s not the big things, like good looks or money, it’s silly little details that clinch the deal. My sister, Wendy, ultimately gave up her job and moved to a sheep station in Australia because she liked the way Bill peeled an orange. What about you, Jill? Why did you fall for Eddy?’

‘He had lovely eyes. Well, he still has unless there has been some terrible patio-accident while I’ve been away,’ I said, ‘and I liked him.’

‘It really isn’t much to go on, is it?’ Diana sighed.

‘I suspect you have Raphaël in mind,’ Evelyn said.

‘Not at all… well, a bit. I mean I was with Casper for so long, and when he died, I never imagined I would notice another man. But now…’

‘You’re noticing,’ I said, ‘admit it.’

Diana looked away and fidgeted with her shirt buttons.

‘I suppose so. What will Sam think? What will people think? If I say “I’ve met someone on holiday”, will people assume it’s some scammer preying on older women, and it’s only a matter of time before he starts asking for money and Amazon gift cards? When I asked him to come and visit it seemed the easiest thing in the world, but now, we are about to go home and I’m trying to imagine what it would be like if he did turn up at my front door.’