Page 33 of Rescuing Carolyn

“Where’s Austin?” I asked, concerned there was a problem.

“He was really tired. Your mom played with him outside a lot today, so I put him down for a little nap before dinner. Hope that’s okay.”

“Sure,” I said, walking past him into the kitchen. It was just as well Austin wasn’t going to witness what was probably going to be a disagreement between his parents.

“What were you doing on the bypass?” So he didn’t plan to beat around the bush. “I thought you were at the store today.”

“I was most of the day,” I said. “The fire inspector agrees with you that it was definitely arson.”

“Wish I was wrong about that. What else, Carolyn?”

I blew out a breath and got a glass of water before responding. “I went to the last known address for Marta Huntly, over on Decatur Street.”

“Not a nice part of town,” he observed, his tone dry. “Why’d you go?”

“I wanted to see if her son still lived there, if maybe he could give me some answers about all this. It was probably a foolish idea, but I don’t have much to go on.”

“I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to move on anything.” We faced each other across my kitchen, the tension thick between us.

“We did, which is why I didn’t knock on the door. I got to within ten feet and remembered your warning, so I left.” I hoped that would satisfy him, but from the look on his face, it hadn’t.

“You called me to join you there? That was your plan.” He was putting the pieces together.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“And when I wasn’t available, you went on your own. Jesus, Carolyn.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You could have been walking right into a trap. Did you think of that?”

“Like I said, I didn’t?—”

He cut me off. “You shouldn’t have been in that neighborhood by yourself.”

“Okay,” I said, “so I made a mistake, but it’s fine. Nothing happened.”

“It’s not fine. You promised me that you’d wait and let me handle this.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to apologize, but I stopped myself. Yes, it had been reckless for me to go there, but I hadn’t walked into a trap. Instead, I’d walked away. My sense of fear and self-preservation had kicked in at just the right time. Why was he acting as though I’d thrown myself in the path of a speeding bus? We stood feet apart, staring at each other, and I flashed back to the night we’d ended our engagement. Back then, I’d been the one talking, and he’d been on the defensive, but the tension felt exactly the same.

“I need to go.” He pushed off the counter and walked to within a foot of me. His usually vibrant eyes were steely blue and with a hard edge. I imagined this was how his adversaries saw him, an uncompromising, dangerous man. Cold. Unforgiving.

“Zach, please…” I wanted understanding from him, but he wasn’t giving it to me.

“I cried for years for my mother,” he said, “but she never came back for me and my brothers. I don’t know why she left. I never will. But she made a choice to walk out on her kids and leave us behind.”

Why was he bringing up his mother? I struggled to follow his train of thought.

“You have choices as a mom, as well. I know you love Austin, but that doesn’t change what you did. When you put yourself in danger, you weren’t thinking about him or what it would do to him if you got hurt.” His face was pained, his mask shattered to reveal that pain underneath. I’d never seen him like this. “You weren’t thinking what it would do to me either. And I just…” He shook his head. “I can’t be here right now.”

He walked out of the kitchen without another word. A few seconds later, my front door slammed, and I was alone. I sagged into a chair, exhausted by our argument and still reeling from his words. I was not like his mother, who had left without a word or backward glance…but I had to admit that he was right that I’d put myself in danger without really thinking it through. It wasn’t until the last minute that I’d realized that I needed to walk away, for Austin’s sake. And for Zach’s. But I had walked away, because I wanted to come home to them both. The home that Zach had just walked out of, looking like he might never come back.

I dropped my face in my hands and let the tears spill over.

17

CAROLYN

At midnight, I pulled back the curtain in the living room to see Zach sitting in his car down the street. I’d gotten through the evening, smiling at Austin and pretending everything was fine. Daddy had to work, I’d told him, but I assured him Daddy would be there the next day. I hoped that was true. Austin’s crestfallen face when he realized Zach wasn’t putting him to bed had nearly broken my already damaged heart.

I dialed Zach’s number and saw his phone screen light up in the dark vehicle. “Come inside, Zach,” I said without preamble. “There’s no reason for you to be sitting out there.”

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