Page 13 of Rescuing Carolyn

I lay on the living room floor with my son on my chest. I’d visited Carolyn’s house every day for the past five, and I was loving each minute I spent with Austin. I’d had some nervous moments, worrying about what kind of father I’d be. My own parents were no example I wanted to follow. The Admiral had known how to love, but my brothers and I had been teenagers by the time we’d moved in with him.

Being a dad to a young toddler was different, but I was managing. It was easy when the kid was this awesome. Happy, carefree, and blessedly unhurt by the robbery. I had been surprised when Carolyn invited me to join her at an appointment at the pediatrician’s office, but I was so glad I’d been there to hear directly when the doctor verified that Austin was fine and would likely not remember the hostage situation.

I hid my face again, but my son tugged at my hands, trying to remove them. I liked the feel of Austin against me, but it still made me sad I’d missed the baby phase. This was great, but now that I had a sense of what I’d missed out on, I was sorrier than ever. Still, I reminded myself how lucky I was to have this chance at all.

The child’s weight suddenly disappeared from my chest, making me open my eyes. Carolyn stood over me with Austin in her arms. They were beautiful together. She’d always been beautiful, more than I’d thought I deserved. Since the first time I saw her, she’d been the one for me. I’d been astonished when I’d won her heart…and crushed when I’d lost it.

“Time for bed for you, little man,” she said, blowing raspberries against Austin’s tummy and making him giggle.

“Can I help?” I had asked other evenings, but she’d told me no, wanting to give Austin time to get used to me before incorporating me into his bedtime routine.

“I…yes, that sounds good,” she said, giving me a shy smile. “He’s so comfortable with you now that I don’t think it’ll be a problem. Do you want to dress Mr. Squirmy in his pajamas?”

She’d taught me how to change a diaper, what Austin liked to eat, and even how to play with him. I was quickly learning how to care for my son. The bedtime ritual was another step toward being the father I wanted to be.

“Come on upstairs. I’ll show you the ropes.” She climbed ahead of me, her curvy figure at eye level. I almost tripped when my mind shot to how it had felt to run my hands over those curves.

“Thanks,” I said, yanking my thoughts back to my purpose as I followed her into a room at the rear of the house, the one I’d guessed was Austin’s. I’d located the windows on the exterior during my nightly checks on the house. I’d been keeping vigil in my car ever since that first night, and though I’d seen nothing to raise concern, I’d continue to watch over them. Carolyn’s theory that someone might be sabotaging the store had me worried. And since the police weren’t taking it seriously, that meant it was on me to make sure that she and Austin were safe.

“Take him while I get everything ready,” she said. As we passed Austin between us, our bodies brushed together, making me hyperaware of the attraction I still felt for her.

Her breath caught, and I knew that she was reacting to me, too. Our chemistry had always been deep and potent. And I sure as hell hadn’t forgotten how to touch her. How could I, when memories of our times together still played in a constant loop in my dreams? But she hadn’t given any indication that she was open to anything for now—and I was determined to let her take this at her own pace. I was ready whenever she was. Very ready.

She cleared her throat, refocusing on Austin. “You’ll need to change his diaper and get him in this.” She held up a one-piece sleeper. “It zips down the front.” She tapped an item attached to the crib. “He likes the soother to be on—and the little lamp in the corner.”

“Are you leaving?” Was she going to trust me alone with our son? It felt like a big milestone, that she’d let me step up like this.

“I’ll go start dinner while you take care of him.” She leaned over Austin on the changing table and kissed his forehead. “Mama loves you, baby.” After she straightened, she turned her eyes to me. “Would you like to join me? It won’t be anything fancy.”

“Love to,” I answered quickly, pleased she’d asked me. This was another first. And it meant just as much as being allowed to handle the bedtime ritual. She wasn’t just trusting me with Austin. She was trusting me with herself, too.

After she left the room, I focused on caring for Austin. With him kicking his little legs, getting the sleeper on was a challenge, but I accomplished it. I adjusted the lights and turned on the soother that played soft music and showed colorful fish swimming across a little screen. I lingered for a moment, holding Austin and rocking him gently until I saw a yawn. I took that as a sign that he was ready to be put down for the night. With one last kiss, I placed my son on his back, whispered good night, and left the room.

Out in the hall, I took a minute. I’d just put my child to bed for the first time. It was a big deal to me, and I hoped I could be there every night to kiss him. Having dinner with Carolyn was a big deal, too, and I was determined to do it right.

Downstairs, she had pasta cooking on the stove and was making a creamy sauce to go over it. A favorite of mine. She looked to me, smiling. Was the meal intentionally chosen to please me?

“Smells good,” I said. “Anything I can do?”

“There’s wine in the fridge if you want some.”

I was tempted, but it might make me sleepy. Not something I could afford when I’d be spending the night keeping watch.

“I’ll pass. Can I pour you a glass?”

“That would be nice.” With a tilt of her head, she indicated the cabinet where the wineglasses were stored. “Grab the vegetables, too. We should eat something healthy.”

I pulled out a bottle of white wine and a tray of vegetables, already cut up, as she stirred the sauce.

“How’d it go up there?” she asked casually.

I hid my smile, surprised she’d waited even that long before questioning me. She was a good mother. I could see her love for Austin in everything she did.

“Okay, I think,” I answered. “He was sleepy when I put him down.”

“He must be out. I haven’t heard anything on the monitor.”

So she’d been listening in. I didn’t blame her. Honestly, I was glad. I wanted her to know how careful I was with Austin, how determined I was to do right by him. And by her.

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