Page 17 of An Alpha's Commitment

"Yes, Alpha. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Oscar."

Chapter 09

ISCA

It was devastating to learn my pack hadn't even bothered to pack my belongings when they left the district. It shouldn't have been. I couldn't remember an occasion when anything I'd done had been good enough for Zarbius. He openly despised me. He criticized me in the bedroom and in front of the betas and his friends. Although I was supposedly the Alpha Mate (albeit reluctantly), he treated me like an object, an object he shared with his friends.

I wasn't sure why he'd insisted on mating me. The physical abuse was excruciating, but the mental abuse was soul-destroying. He made sure I knew I was less than nothing, and he'd insisted he was doing me a favor any time he bestowed his sadistic attention on me.

The other omegas in the pack weren't treated any better - we were simply chattels for the convenience of the alphas and betas - but his particular brand of cruelty was a privilege reserved for me, his mate. Somehow that gave him pleasure, which was my responsibility as the Alpha Mate. And so I endured it, thinking this was the life of an omega. It wasn't until I met Irian that I realized not all packs operated this way, that in some packs omegas were cherished, loved even.

That had been my life before my new life began in Talius' pack, so I shouldn't have been at all surprised that when the pack left they didn't give a second thought to me, or considered I might have anything worth keeping. They'd left as if I had never been there at all.

I felt it like a blade slicing through my heart which was only held together by the love of my two current mates. Current mates. Forever mates? Was I really a permanent part of this triad? My fears threatened to rise up and drag me down the rabbit hole of my insecurity again.

Except... a nostril full of reassuring alpha pheromone (why did Talius' scent have this unconscious effect, when Zarbius' never had?) buffered my worries, giving me the space to think. Talius had encouraged me to top Irian. Now that my emotions had calmed and I was thinking more clearly, I realized that had been a clear demonstration of my position in the relationship. I was not the unworthy add-on that I feared being. It was the clearest signal they could give me that I belonged with them, short of being mated.

I relaxed into the two sets of arms around me.

"You have us," Irian's gentle voice assured me. I did. And I needed to communicate with them. Make sure I told them how I felt. No-one had cared how I felt before, so this was new to me, expressing myself.

"I know. It's just hard knowing how little I meant to them. I did everything for them... I fed them, cleaned up after them..."

I felt naked, laying my feelings bare like this. And yet, all I got back was warmth and reassurance. No judgement. Well, no judgement of me... Zarbius and his crew were stupid, apparently.

That forced a wet chuckle out of me. I didn't think Zarbius would appreciate the sentiment.

Talius' prompting brought me back to the question at hand. I thought about it... when I'd run off, I'd accepted that everything I owned was lost to me. Some of that had hurt, but survival had been the higher priority and I'd blanked my loss from my mind. But now...

So I told Talius what I wanted to retrieve. There wasn't much, but it held a wealth of meaning for me. A kernel of hope and anticipation nestled deep in my chest.

???

When I carried Talius' morning coffee and treats into his office the next morning, he handed me a small bag.

"These are yours, Isca, Oscar brought them down this morning."

I held my breath as I opened the bag, scarcely daring to believe this twist of fortune. When I saw the familiar items inside, I let out an embarrassing squeak of relief and gratitude.

"Thank you!" I rushed to hug Talius, moisture prickling at the corners of my eyes.

"I take it that's what you wanted," he said warmly, giving me a squeeze.

"Yes!"

"Then I'm glad we could get it for you."

Later, when I had a private moment, I opened the back cover of the book, and slid the key out from the plastic sleeve. Heart pounding, I unlocked the box and eased the lid open.

For a moment I stood there, staring at the contents. They were there, unharmed, and now back in my hands for safekeeping. I ran my fingers over them, the textures familiar and comforting. When I had my fill, reconnecting with them on a spiritual level, I locked the box and tucked it away on the bookshelf in my room, the room that used to be the guest room, but which Talius and Irian had made mine as a sign of my permanency, I guess. Now I really only used it to store my few belongings as the three of us always slept together in the main bedroom.

I didn't know when, if ever, I would need these small treasures. Maybe one day I'd bring them out and show them to Talius and Irian. Until then, they'd continue to keep their silent vigil behind the old recipe book.

???

Two nights before the full moon, Talius still hadn’t heard anything back from the Council. It seemed that trying to locate the information we wanted was a slow and difficult process. Or maybe the information didn't exist at all. It was disappointing, because I seemed to live each day in a state of suspended excitement, waiting for… well, something to happen.

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