He crouches down next to me, but I wipe my face and brush myself off to stand.
“It’s nothing. I’m ok.” I force myself to smile.
“You’re not ok.” He blocks me from leaving.
“I can do that interview now.” I turn to his sister, Lenny.
“We don’t have to.” Her mouth tilts in understanding.
“Willa,” Alex’s thick brows form a hard line over his eyes, “what did he do?”
“He didn’t do anything,” I shout at them. If I told my friends from the beginning, none of this would’ve happened. “You guys all hate him, but you don’t even know him.” They look at each other, questioning how lost I am, because all they see is the tough guy act he puts on. “It’s all my fault. I was too concerned about what you’d all say if I told you I was in love with him.”
Alex’s face softens as I confess what I should’ve done from the very beginning. I was falling in love with Carter the moment we became friends. That very first time he brought me tacos to cheer me up, and even before then, I was staggering over my feet before they were swept out from under me.
“We were only trying to look out for you.” Alex puts his hand on my shoulder. “Luca’s not here, but you could have come to any one of us.”
I nod, feeling better that I said it aloud, but he’s not the one I should be talking to.
“We can do that interview now.” I turn to Lenny and let her lead me back to the small school studio. Alex is Luca’s friend, and we talk, but we’re not close enough that I can unleash all my problems on him.
Lenny makes the interview quick. I watched her skip over several questions she had written, knowing I’m not in the right headspace to answer too many.
Jocelyn has been avoiding me. She won’t stay in the same room as me long enough to talk. So, when I get home, I sit on my bed and call Luca.
His face lights up the screen with a broad dimpled smile.
“How come you never call me anymore?” he answers, trying to sound annoyed at me.
I’ve been avoiding this conversation for weeks. Ignoring my best friend, to hide the shame I felt for doing something he wouldn’t be happy about.
“I’ve been busy,” I shy from the truth.
“I’m sorry. I can’t make it tomorrow night. I was going to try.” He walks with the phone in his hand and I notice he’s in his new apartment. Kandi had told me all about it. She hates it.
“Luca, I called to tell you something.” I take a deep breath. It’s now or never. “I’ve been dating Carter for a few weeks.”
“I figured,” he says, sounding bored. “Shit, this bread is moldy.”
“How did you figure?” I laugh, thinking he must not have heard me right.
“Carter said something to me at the banquet.” He finally sits down and faces the phone. “I’m going to have to order pizza again. Oh, maybe Thai.”
“Luca focus.” I command through the phone. “What did Carter say to you?”
He groans and rolls his eyes.
“We were heading to the restroom, and he said something about…I don’t know.” He thinks it over. “He said he knows he’s not perfect, but he’d do anything to make you happy. Or something like that.”
“What else did he say?” I ask to keep Luca’s focus on our conversation.
“I don’t know. He asked if I was ok with you guys dating. Or he said he hoped I’d be ok with him asking you out. I don’t remember the exact words.” Luca looks at something else on his phone, smiling at whatever he sees.
“He asked you for permission to date me at the banquet?” I ask the question more to myself, assuming I lost Luca to pictures of food he’s thinking of ordering.
“Sort of,” he sighs and starts paying attention to me again. “It was more of him warning me not to upset you, but then he locked me out of the restroom. I went outside and pissed in the bush.”
“Luca,” I smack my hand on my head.