Page 107 of Released from the Sin Bin

“Yup.” She slinks over in front of me and runs her hands up my abs to my shoulders under my jacket, slipping it down my arms and tossing it onto the desk chair behind me.

Rising up on her toes, she lightly presses her lips onto mine. Kissing me softly as my hands lightly touch her sides.

This is wrong. It’s very wrong, but it’s what Willa wants. I’ll do whatever she wants me to do, but I don’t think I can do this.

“You’re different from what I expected.” Jocelyn pulls away.

“How so?” I laugh.

“I expected you to take control.” She shrugs and turns her back to me, pulling her long honey blonde hair over her shoulder to reveal the zipper of her dress. “Unzip me?”

My hand shakes as I touch the zipper.

What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s a fucking zipper. I’ve done this more times than I can count. Detach and just fucking do it.

This is wrong.

“Fuck, I can’t do this.” I back away and run my hand through my hair. “I’m sorry. I can’t”

Jocelyn’s shoulders slump forward and her mouth hangs open as she turns to look at me.

“I, uh–”

“Is there something wrong with me?” She plops on her bed and holds a penguin stuffed animal in her lap.

“No–”

“I don’t get it. You sleep with tons of girls, and I’m throwing myself at you.”

“Jocelyn, it’s not you.” I sit down next to her. “You’re gorgeous, and normally I sleep with anyone, but I haven’t in a while.”

“Why then?” She tucks her legs onto the bed under her. “I’ve been flirting with you, and you never look my way.”

“I knew you liked me.” I groan and run my hand over my face. “I avoided hooking up with you because you would flirt, and I only fucked women I knew wouldn’t be looking for more.”

“So, you purposely avoid sleeping with anyone that likes you?” She looks at me like I’m fucking crazy.

I am or I used to be. Willa’s the only one I want to sleep with, but I want so much more with her. If I could, I’d spend the rest of my life with her.

“I’m not stupid, Carter.” Jocelyn rolls her eyes.

“I’m fucking crazy, but it’s true. My life is complicated, and I can’t date or be with anyone.” I give her the truth, but before Willa, I would’ve eventually fucked her. I would’ve laid it out that it was a one-night stand and she would have agreed to it.

“If all I want is to have sex with you, what’s the difference?” There it is. She's willing to sleep with me, no strings attached. They always are.

“Something changed.” I rub my face again, trying to decide if I should tell her, but I don’t want to pin Willa against the boards, putting her in a hard spot to get out of. I can’t get between her and her friend. “There’s someone else that I’ve been seeing, but we’re not exclusive.”

“Willa?” she questions with disgust dripping in her voice.

“No.” I lie automatically. “Not Willa.”

“Oh.” Jocelyn’s shoulders drop. “I see.”

“I’m really sorry. I wanted to do this, but I can’t.” I sigh and rise from her bed. “You’re really fucking sexy. I’m really fucking stupid.” I grab my jacket to leave.

“You are,” she agrees with me, and rises from her bed to let me out.

Opening her door, she rises to her toes once more and kisses me softly. “Goodnight, Carter.”

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