Page 34 of Released from the Sin Bin

“I’m going to get changed.” Jocelyn takes my coat off and throws it on the bed. “And then we are going to drink and talk shit about Vic. Ok?”

I feel my head nodding but it’s the last thing I want to do.

As soon as she leaves I stare at my keys and decide I need to do this. To truly move on and break it off, I need to do it now.

Grabbing my keys and my coat, I head out to my car and drive off to his cabin.

I pass right by the girls trying to pull Danielle and Kylie apart as they grapple each other to the floor. Pulling hair and screaming obscenities. No one notices me leaving.

I’m out on the highway by the time Jocelyn calls my phone. She calls several times, but I ignore it and follow the GPS.

The small looped highway only has five exits, and I pass each one, barely reading the signs. I’m blindly following the spoken directions coming out from the blue tooth. All I can think about is why.

Why would he do it? Why would he lie and make promises just to break them? Why am I not good enough for him?

There were so many signs and so many times he’s told me to change. To wear shorter skirts. To put on more makeup. Wear perfume, but not that perfume. Kiss this way, and not that way. Laugh quieter. Speak normal. I was never enough for him.

I’ll never be enough for anyone. I was never a girl’s girl and turns out I’m not much of a guy’s girl either.

Tears stream down my face as the snow begins to fall.

What am I doing?

The GPS cuts out and then tells me to turn but I can’t see the road.

Jocelyn calls again and this time I answer.

“Where are you?” she asks in a panic. “Did you make it there?”

“Not yet, I can barely see the road.” It’s already covered in white and the snow is still coming down, but I know I’m on a road because otherwise I’d be in a tree.

I must’ve turned off the highway. There are trees on either side of the narrow winding road. I’m on the mountain. That much I’m sure of.

“Shit,” I gasp as the wind pushes the car to the side when I take my hand off the wheel to look at the map.

“How close are you?” Jocelyn asks, and I didn’t think I was close at all, but it’s been almost two hours since I left, so I should be there soon.

“I think I’m close. The map on my phone keeps cutting in and out.” Right now, the blue dot is showing that I’m in the middle of the valley in the small river, unable to pinpoint where I am.

They’re in the same cabin as last year and if I passed the first cabin, it should be a straight shot right to it. All the cabins are lined up on one street and Vic’s cabin is the last one.

“It’s supposed to get worse. You need to find another cabin and stay with someone else. Kandi and some other Deltas are up there,” she suggests, but it’s not that easy.

I can’t make out the driveways that lead to the cabins. I think I see lights every once in a while, to the side, but I don’t see how to get to them.

“No, it won’t work. This road leads right to Vic’s cabin. I can make it there.” The wind pushes my car to the side again, making me tense on the steering wheel. “I think.”

“I’m going to stay on—” a beep cuts Jocelyn off, “—get there.”

I reach for my charger when I remember I didn’t bring it.

“Shit,” It’s down to nine percent. Being in and out of service has completely drained the battery. “Jocelyn, I have to go.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I let Vic borrow my cord to charge the phone in the car.”

“Oh my god, Willa. Mess—” the phone cuts out.

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