“How old is she, Liv?”

Silence. When she answers, her voice is small and resigned.

“She turned six a few months ago.”

And when I consider the timing, counting by years and months, it was about seven years ago that Olivia and I had sex before the office sex earlier. I don’t even need to ask.

I know.

“Riley is my daughter.”

Her lower lip trembles, then steadies. “Yes.”

I’m still so shocked that I can’t even think straight. But my anger boils, too, a strong shot that snaps in my blood.

“So, I had a daughter all this time and you decided to keep her a secret.”

Her shoulders stiffen. “I didn’t. I didn’t know how to contact you, remember?”

I glare at her. “I’m talking about now, Liv. When we saw each other again. When we interacted the last few weeks in my office.” I take a step forward, unable to help it. “When you let me take you in that damn file room.”

More moments come to me, from her refusing to let me take her home to avoiding me like the plague sometimes. My fury escalates until she speaks again.

“I didn’t trust you. I didn’t even know if you would want to know?—”

“She’s my goddamn daughter. Of course, I would want to know. I have every right to know?—‍”

“You weren’t there.”

The statement stops me. Amid the anger, I try to brush off the fogginess to see her more clearly. When I do, I’m taken aback by her stricken, vulnerable expression.

“What?”

“You weren’t there,” she repeats, her hands fisting at her sides. “That’s all I could remember. I know it’s not your fault now and it was a misunderstanding, but during that time, I thought you made a fool out of me…and that thought fueled me for the rest of the years. I was alone, but I was determined to make it work and provide everything for her on my own. And I did it. You can’t take that away from me.”

Damn it. It’s just words, but why is it that my heart aches as I imagine what she must have been through? Despite that, the fury still doesn’t relent and I have to take a deep breath.

“I didn’t say I’m taking that away from you. All I’m saying is that you should have told me the moment you saw me…because whether I could have been a part of her life or not, it should have been my decision.”

She opens her mouth, but I can tell she knows I’m right. Still, a stubborn layer clings to her, preventing her from inviting me inside the house. That’s fine.

I won’t push it now, but I’ll let her know one thing.

“I want to get to know my daughter and be a part of her life…no. I will get to know my daughter and be a part of her life, Liv. You can’t take that away from me, either.”

For the first time, I see the emotion she’s been hiding all this time: a glimmer of fear. My protective instincts come to the surface, wanting to reach out and wrap my arms around her. But I’m hurt, too, and I don’t want to hurt her when I lash out with it.

I know where she’s coming from. At the same time, I can’t just accept it. So I take a step back, give her one final nod, and keep talking.

“But not now. She needs rest. So do you.”

When she doesn’t respond, I turn and walk away, my shoulders stiffening when I hear the quiet click of her front door. I glance one more time at the house before driving away, my mind a jumbled mess.

I have a child…a daughter. I had one all this time and never knew, and it’s something that will always eat at me. But now I know, and now I can’t help my heart from swelling and my insides from tumbling.

Because I created a life without my knowledge and that’s a big deal.

I know we used condoms, but I know Olivia isn’t lying. Her reaction to my exposure to the truth is the only confirmation that I need. And now?