Page 40 of Protected By the Billionaire Ex-SEAL

“She didn’t. Her brother-in-law went to prison, but…she didn’t make it.”

God, the tightness in his tone makes me want to erase the memories, but I know he carries that event like I carry my past.

“How long ago was this?”

“Around two years ago. I was juggling my Navy SEAL commitment and my business, which was just starting.” He leans over and kisses my shoulder, something painful in his gaze. Unable to resist, I reach up and cup his jaw, soothing the hardness with my thumb.

“That wasn’t your fault.”

But he shakes his head, denying my words.

“It was. It is. Because I got distracted with our relationship. I didn’t keep investigating—and if I had, I would have known the brother-in-law was a violent man who already disliked her from the start. He was the one I should have watched out for. Instead, I was too busy screwing her—and that cost her life.”

Bitterness coats the air, and all I can do is keep rubbing his jaw.

“That’s when I knew that romance has no space in my life and I can’t ever get distracted with attachments and feelings again.” This time, his eyes meet mine. “It’s why I got mad at you when I found out about your ex and situation. But mostly, I was mad at myself.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, then nod. I want to keep insisting that it’s not his fault and that the blame shouldn’t be put on his shoulders since it was a tragedy more than anything else. But I know what trauma can do—and I know more than anyone how all one can do is breathe and take it one day at a time.

But I also know I have to let him understand one thing.

“You’ll protect me.” I whisper it, but my words ring clearly in our hushed space. I kiss him, wanting to reassure him with that, too. “Whether we’re sleeping together or not, whether we’re fighting or not, I know you’ll protect me.”

He kisses me back, then pulls me closer, making me feel so alive and aching for more at the same time. We stay kissing for a long while, enjoying the slow and lazy exchange of passion before he settles me against his chest and kisses the top of my head.

“Sleep. You’ve had a long day.”

I want to protest that we shared the long day and I still have some energy left, but it’s no surprise when my eyes give in and I’m knocked out before I can say anything. At first, my sleep is dreamless until a woman shot in the head fills it up before it morphs into Sam running after me with a gun in his hand.

I wake up with fear stuck in my throat and my hands clutching the mattress for protection. Then I realize it’s not the mattress but Christian’s shirt, and he pulls me even closer until there’s no space between us. I try to explain, but he’s one step ahead of me.

“It’s okay. You just had a nightmare. It’s not real, Raven.” He kisses the top of my head again, then my forehead. Then, my lips. “This is real. You’re safe here with me.”

I’ve never believed anyone more in my life.

And just like that, I’ve never been more ready to go back to sleep, confident that the nightmare won’t return while I’m in his arms.

Chapter 13

Christian

“Hey, big brother. Come have dinner with us.”

I almost tell Clara that I can’t go to Nashville until I realize what she means.

“You’re in Sweet Haven?”

“Yes. We just got here. The kids are napping, but you can come right after. We miss you.”

It’s crazy how happy I become whenever Clara, Nick, and I end up in the same place and can meet up, but I suppose it’s because we’re always so busy now. The last time I saw them was in Nashville, and while that was only a little more than a month ago, it feels like ages.

Then I remember something.

“Can I bring someone?”

“Someone?”

“My assignment. I can’t leave her alone.”

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