Page 24 of Made for You

My stomach twists. Yes, that would explain Josh setting up the tent and leaving. But it feels so wrong to doubt Andy... Anyway, why would two grown men meet at night when their conflict could wait until morning? And why would Andy lie about it to me?

Mileage signs pop out of the darkness, like little slaps in the face saying Slow down, Julia. Slow down. But my speed feels pretend. I can’t really be going ninety-five. What’s real? What’s not?

Doubting Andy feels like doubting myself. On my Launch Day, Andy’s was the first face I saw. My first thought? Kind. A gut instinct I’ve always trusted.

My world is cracking. I’m terrified one minute, reckless the next. I’m hearing voices that aren’t there, a ticking that’s not there.

I dig my foot into the accelerator, as if I can outrun the thing unfolding in my chest. A thought—a feeling—a core-deep instinct that could split me apart if I let it.

I am not to be trusted.

THEN

“Julia,” says a voice, warm with concern. It’s Josh. The most welcome sight ever, swimming into focus. His expression, intense. His eyes searching me like I’ve always wanted to be searched.

“Hi,” I say weakly. I register an ice pack on the back of my head, a sling on my arm. I’m on my back on the living room sectional, a ceiling fan spinning high above me. Josh is kneeling to my left, dressed in a T-shirt with circles of sweat under the arms, like he was just working out. I flicker my gaze around the space and register the girls, bunched up at a distance. Watching us, talking in low murmurs. And two cameramen, discreet but present.

“What happened?” I say, focusing back on Josh. “Who was that?”

Josh presses my chilly hand between both of his.

“They’re looking into it,” he says in a husky voice that tells me he’s more upset than he’s letting on. “She actually got away from show security before the police arrived. But I’m sure they’ll find her. It’s all on camera.”

I shift my head and wince. “Why would she attack me?”

I can’t help but remember, again, the flood of comments after my first and only Instagram post to date. It started nice, with various public figures making their statements, including Synth twins Christi and Chrystel, but it quickly devolved, and it wasn’t just the biting comments accusing me of not being a real woman.

Less fuckbots and better vaccines, please!

We’re in a pandemic and THIS is what science is doing?? What a joke.

Welcome to America Julia where the 1% is making robot sex toys while the 99% are on food stamps. It’s great here!!

I had to stop reading.

Could this woman be some kind of anti-Synth activist? The producers did warn me that there was a media leak about my presence on the show...

“Everyone’s saying she was a crazy fan,” says Josh. “Some of the camera people noticed her last week. I guess she was lurking around the property. My guess is, she saw you alone and took her chance.”

“Her chance at what?” I say, feeling stupid and slow.

“Fame?” Josh shakes his head like it’s beyond him. “Maybe she wanted to be on camera. Who the hell knows. With people like that...”

I exhale slowly and manage a small nod. At least that feels better than a targeted attack. Though...maybe it’s worse that it could have been any of us. I don’t know what to feel.

Josh squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry, Julia. I’m talking to the producers about safety. The fact that this happened is unacceptable.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” comes a tentative voice. It’s Emma, dressed in a bikini and cover-up, her long brown hair spilling over her slim shoulders. The girls’ ambassador into the situation, by the looks of it. “We all just want to say we’re so sorry, Julia. And if there’s anything any of us can do...”

“Thanks,” I say. “I appreciate that.”

Emma bites her lip. “I was inside the house. I actually saw her jump you. A bunch of us did. We just couldn’t get out there fast enough.”

“It’s so scary,” says a petite girl whose name I can’t remember. “I almost went for a walk by the pool before you.”

“Maybe we should ask the producers for some self-defense training,” offers Zoe. “What do you think, Julia? We could all do it together, like, as a team.”

“Oh,” I say with some surprise. “Sure. I mean, I...can’t. But that’s a great idea for everyone else.”

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