When I look up at the bar Paul, Owen and Rob are gone.
“Showtime,” Mary says.
On that, wolf-whistles start. I turn to look over at the door as the three lads walk past me and take their place behind the bar, all three of them topless.
“Fuckin’ hell, normally you say they scrub up well when dressed, but damn they do look good without.”
I giggle as I turn back to look at Jay. “I only have eyes for him.” I nod my head in Rob's direction. Though Jay is right, they do look good. I sit at the bar studying Rob's tattoos that are now on show for all. He looks over, then makes his way down the bar to me, smiling.
“Hello beautiful, what can I get you?”
“Nothing at the moment, I'm just admiring the view,” I say all flirtatious, batting my eyelashes at him.
“Will you two get a room?”Jayne says, laughing.
I shrug my shoulders and Rob starts to serve the person next to me. The bar is heaving, I do a walkabout having a laugh and a chat with some of the regulars when I start to get a watery mouth. Trying not to think about it I excuse myself and make my way to the staff door. I run up the stairs as fast as I can, opening the door. I start to heave, putting my hand across my mouth as I run to my bathroom just in time to empty the contents of my stomach down the pan.
I sit kneeling with my arms crossed over the toilet seat with my head leaning on them. What the hell is this all about, what did I eat yesterday? Nothing stands out. My mouth starts to water again, I move slightly, my gut turns over and I start to heave again. This time it's just bile that comes up. I hear a noise in my bedroom.
“Abs, Baby, where are you? Are you ok?” I hear Rob say as he walks into the bathroom. “There you are, what's wrong, come on.” He bends down and picks me up, carrying me to the bedroom. He places me down on the bed. “You know we ain't got no time for this,” he says as he bounces on the bed.
My stomach does a double somersault and I'm off the bed heading back into the bathroom.
Chapter Eighteen
“Well?” Jayne is shouting at me through my bathroom door.
I sit staring at the stick in my hand, the two red lines prominent to see. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. “How the hell can this happen? How can I have been so stupid?” I say aloud.
“What are you saying?”
Wiping the stick clean and throwing the tissue down the toilet, I open the door and thrust the stick into her hand. Walking to my bed I sit with my hands in my head. I feel the bed move as Jay sits beside me, she nudges my side. “It'll be alright, you just wait and see.”
“How can it be? I have the bar.”
Jayne puts her arm around my shoulder as I drop my head onto hers. “Have you and Rob spoken about having kids?”
“Yes, but that was right at the beginning and to be honest it was more like an off the wall sort of chat. Nothing like it's going to be now. Will you watch the bar tonight for me, he said he'll be up later?”
“Sure, you don't have to ask. You're going to be alright, you will always have me regardless of the outcome.
“What do you mean?” I ask her with confusion.
“If you want to, you know terminate.” Jayne looks to the floor, then back at me. “I'm sorry Ab, but it had to be said.”
“I know and I will think about it and discuss it with him, thanks Jayne.” I move my head and sit up straight, she moves her arm and stands up.
“Rest up, cook him a nice meal and break the news,” she tells me as she leaves the room.
I continue to sit on the edge of the bed cursing myself. How the fuck has this happened, I take that pill every night. I use my index finger to wipe a single tear as it rolls down my cheek. But that's not enough. The tears start to come fast, I’m wiping them away off my face with my hand. Getting up off the bed, I decide to go take a shower. The warm water cascades over my face and I can't distinguish between the water and the tears. I place my head on the wall, remembering the good time we had not so long ago in here, but I sense that's all about to change.
I spend a few hours in the bar. Now I'm taking Jayne's advice, but instead of cooking I'll order in. I've done my hair and makeup and I’m now looking through my wardrobe for something nice to wear. I spot my red cotton strappy dress, pulling it off the hanger I slip it on. My stomach flips. I'm so nervous. I run my hands over the front of the dress as one of my hands involuntarily stops on my belly, rubbing it in circular motions while the other drops to the side.
I hear a faint knock on the door as Jay pokes her head in.
“Just seeing if you're alright, and if you need anything.”
“Have you ordered the food yet?”