Page 45 of None of This is True

Alix doesn’t react with the words she wants to utter. She doesn’t say, ‘Please do not ever compare your elderly, dead-eyed, paedophiliac gaslighter of a husband with mine, who has a drink problem but is fundamentally decent.’ Instead, she gently pops the cork back in the brandy bottle and brings the glass to Josie, who takes it from her with a shaking hand.

‘What are you going to do?’ Alix asks, knowing even as she does so that Josie is assuming that she will stay here, but hoping, desperately, that she will respond otherwise.

‘I don’t know.’

‘I could talk to my friend Mari, she’s very involved with a domestic violence charity. She could suggest a safe place for you to be. I can give her a call, right now.’

‘No. Don’t disturb her. It’s fine. I’m fine. If it’s OK with you, Alix, I’d feel safest just staying here with you tonight?’

Alix feels her insides curl up in a knot. ‘Oh,’ she says. ‘I mean, I’m not sure, it’s a bit …’

Josie’s eyes widen and she draws her body in on itself, recoiling slightly from Alix’s words. She looks as though she might be about to cry, and Alix says, ‘Sure. Of course. I’ll make up the spare room for you. It’ll be fine.’

She sees Josie’s body language soften immediately, her shoulders grow round. She hears a tremulous sigh come from her quivering mouth and then the words ‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’

10 a.m.

I am literally the worst person in the world. I can either come home now and prostrate myself at your feet, or I can kill myself. Your choice.

After the weirdness of the previous night, Alix is too relieved to hear from Nathan to be angry any more. She replies quickly.

Please don’t kill yourself. I need you. We have a problem. Get back soon!

He replies with a GIF of a man running and Alix smiles, despite herself.

Josie is in the guest bedroom on the top floor. Alix peered through a small gap in the door earlier and the dog, perched at the foot of the bed, lifted his top lip briefly and began growling, so she’d quietly retreated. But that was two hours ago and there’s still no sign of her. Alix tiptoes back up the stairs and peers once more through the gap in the door. A smell hits her, violently, a smell she recognises all too well from her own dog-owning days. In the corner of the room, thankfully on wooden floorboards, is an arc of tiny dog droppings and a puddle of urine. Fred bares his teeth at her and this time she lets him bark.

The noise rouses Josie from her deep sleep and she sits up suddenly. Alix is taken aback by the state of her face, which looks worse this morning than it did last night, the bruises blooming into vivid pools of mustard and mauve. ‘Oh,’ she says, blinking blindly into the half-light. ‘Oh. God. Hi.’

‘Hi,’ says Alix. ‘How are you doing?’

‘Oh. God,’ she says again. ‘Sorry. I was out cold. What time is it?’

‘Just gone ten.’

‘I’m sorry. I had no idea.’ She turns her head to the side and sniffs the air. Her eyes find the pile of dog mess and she groans. ‘Oh no! I am so, so sorry. I slept through his toilet time. Poor baby. Just give me some cleaning stuff and I’ll deal with it.’

Josie climbs painfully from the bed. She is wearing Alix’s Toast pyjamas, which she lent her last night.

‘It’s fine. I’ll do it. You get back into bed. I’ll bring you some coffee.’

Josie nods gratefully and swings her legs back into the bed. ‘Thank you so much, Alix. That would be amazing.’

Alix passes Leon on the stairs on her way back down.

‘Why is she still here?’ he whispers.

‘She had an accident,’ Alix replies. ‘On her way home. I’m just going to take care of her for the day.’

‘She looks really scary,’ he whispers.

‘You saw her?’

He nods. ‘I peeped in. Her dog growled at me.’

‘Well, she’ll be gone by bedtime tonight, so let’s just be kind to her for now. Yes?’

Leon nods again.

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