Page 67 of None of This is True

Josie pushes her half-eaten pasta away from her. The things that Nathan is saying are not nice, but she’s not surprised. She knows that Nathan didn’t like her being there. But that’s fine. It all just strengthens her resolve.

She picks up her phone and finds the message thread she started earlier. She types another message.

He’s at a table outside the Lamb and Flag. The one in the flowery shirt and red hair with three other men. Can you be here in ten minutes?

The reply comes immediately.

I’m just getting off the tube. I’ll be there soon.

Josie sends a thumbs-up emoji and puts down her phone, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

9 p.m.

Josie watches Nathan’s face register a small shock of pleasant surprise when the young woman stands over him and says, ‘Can I sit here while I wait for my friend?’

‘Oh, yeah. Sure. Of course.’ Nathan squashes along the bench closer to his friend and the woman squeezes herself on the end, so that her arm presses against his. She places a drink on the table in front of her and rummages through her tiny handbag, pulls out a packet of tobacco and some Rizlas and makes herself a roll-up. Josie watches her turn to Nathan and say, ‘Want one?’

‘Oh,’ says Nathan. ‘No. No, thank you. I never have …’

‘Do you mind if I do?’

‘Not at all. Go ahead. Not a problem.’

Josie can see colour rising through Nathan’s face. The woman is wearing a floaty black halter-neck top and tight white jeans and her curly blonde hair is tied back from her exquisite face, which is make-up free in the way that requires a lot of very expertly applied make-up.

Nathan manages to find his way back into his conversation with the three friends, but Josie can see that he is struggling now, that he is hyper aware of the stunningly beautiful young woman sitting right next to him, her bare arm brushing against his bare arm every few seconds. The woman plays with her phone for a few minutes and then she swears under her breath and bangs her phone down on the table. Nathan turns to her and says, ‘Are you OK?’

The woman sighs. ‘Just been blown out,’ she says. ‘By my friend. She’s always doing this. Every single time. Seriously. This is the third time in a row. God.’

‘That sucks,’ says Nathan. ‘I hate it when people do that to me.’

‘Yeah. It’s just disrespectful, isn’t it?’

They don’t say anything for a moment. The woman takes a drag of her roll-up and blows it out of the side of her mouth. Nathan picks up his pint glass and takes a sip. ‘I don’t suppose I could stay with you guys for a bit?’ the woman says. ‘Just while I finish my drink? Seems a shame to waste it.’

‘God. Yeah. Of course. Please.’

‘Oh, thank you so much. You’re a saviour. I’m Katelyn, by the way.’

She offers him her hand to shake, and he takes it. ‘Nathan,’ he says. ‘Nice to meet you, Katelyn.’

Then he introduces her to the rest of the group, she shakes their hands, they smile, she smiles, they are all delighted that a beautiful young woman has joined their group, they are holding in their soft stomachs and bringing their best games to the table. Josie watches in satisfaction and then sends Katelyn another text message.

Bloody brilliant. Let me know when you’ve done it. I’ll be waiting for you.

Then she pays for her uneaten pasta and her flat Coca-Cola and heads away from the pub and into the maelstrom of the hot summer night.

10.30 p.m.

Alix sends Nathan a text message.

Hi! We’re being very bad. You having fun?

She watches the ticks on the message for a while, but they stay grey. She swallows down the sense of discomfort and puts her phone away. She’d been secretly hoping that he might have been home by now. The later he’s out, the higher the chance of him losing himself to the night.

Zoe is making herself a mint tea. She has a natural cut-off point for drinking; she’s always the first to stop. Maxine and Alix are drinking the warm dregs of a bottle of Prosecco they opened earlier that had been found bobbing around darkly in the ice bucket in the garden. Petal is in bed as Zoe is very firm about bedtimes. The other children are playing a computer game in the living room incredibly loudly and Alix is about to go in and tell them to be quiet as there is a bedroom on the other side of the living-room wall where the house next door is converted into flats, and she doesn’t want to disturb the neighbours, but for now, she is enjoying the soft edges of the night, the night air cooling down the intense heat of the day but still warm enough for bare arms. She’s enjoying the conversation; they’re discussing their upcoming summer holiday, a big villa in Croatia, all three of them, their children, the husbands, their mother, a pool, ten days of happiness. It was booked back in January and felt at first close enough to touch and then, as the winter passed slowly into spring, impossibly distant, and now it is only twenty-two days away and Zoe shows them the new bikini she just ordered from John Lewis on her phone and they discuss their boobs and their bellies and their hormones and their moods and then, suddenly, it is nearly half eleven and Zoe is yawning and making moves towards bed.

Alix checks her phone to see if Nathan has sent her any suggestion that he might be on his way home. But there is nothing. She smiles tightly at something that her sister has just said. She doesn’t want to have to answer questions about it. Her sisters are aware that Nathan has started binge-drinking again, but Alix hasn’t told them quite how bad it’s been and what hangs in the balance here, the slender fulcrum that her marriage is currently resting upon.

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