“Everything okay?”
Returning his gaze to me, he lets it linger on my face for a moment. “I’m going to be honest. I almost said no to coming.”
I drop my eyes to the menu on the table in front of me, rubbing my finger over the corner while those doubts from a moment ago flood my system. He’s still angry and hurt, and this isn’t going to work.
But he did say almost, and he’s here now, sitting across from me. So, that’s something, isn’t it?
“Why were you going to say no?”
I lift my eyes again and watch as he scratches the back of his head. He’s not wearing any glasses to adjust, or I’m sure that’s what he would have done instead.
“I don’t know. It’s a lot, with you coming back into my life and Jason suddenly turning up. It’s just bringing up a lot of old memories.”
I can understand that. Thoughts about us, the past, Jason . . . they’ve all been circling my mind for the better part of the past few weeks.
I’m just about to reach for my glass when the fact that he said my brother’s name hits me, and my hand pauses halfway, my eyes widening. “Wait? Jason stopped by?”
The waitress comes by at that exact moment, placing a glass of water in front of Neilix, and then she takes our orders, making me wait an eternity to get my answer.
Once she leaves, Neilix’s eyebrows bunch together. “I assumed you knew.”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve encouraged him to reach out to you a few times, but I didn’t know he actually did. What, um . . . what did he say?”
Nielix’s eyes lock onto mine. “He wanted to apologize.”
Gosh, that makes my chest hurt. Jason never admitted it to me, but I could see it clear as day that he missed his best friend. I just can’t believe he finally did something about it.
“And what did you say?” The question escapes my mouth before I can stop it. I know it’s really none of my business what they talked about or whether he forgives Jason or not.
“I was close to telling him to fuck off.” The muscle in his jaw ticks as he thinks about it. “But then I invited him inside, and we ended up hanging out for about an hour. Adi seemed to like him.”
Warmth fills my chest, and I find my shoulders relaxing. “Thank you. I know you didn’t do that for me, but it’s been weighing on his mind for a long time. You’re a good person, Neilix.”
Fingers tapping on the table, he looks away. “Well, I guess I know what it’s like to have things hanging over your head.”
“I guess we all do,” I add softly.
My guilt at having been the reason they separated has been a constant in the back of my mind, at least since the devastation I felt subsided.
He faces me again, watching me with his beautiful brown eyes that used to make my skin tingle and, apparently, still do. “I don’t blame you for what happened between him and me.”
I’m inclined to argue and point out that it was me slapping him in front of Jason that blew everything up. But accompanying that same memory is the reason for me slapping him in the first place, tempting those negative feelings to surface again when I don’t want them to.
So, I keep my mouth shut, and instead, just nod while I break off a piece of the bread on our table, then change the direction of the conversation.
“So, Adi liked him?”
Immediately, the mood lifts, and Neilix’s body relaxes at the mention of his son. “Yeah, but I think it had to do with the toy he brought for him.”
A smile widens my lips. “Oh, he came with a bribe, did he?” I’m going to punch him for not telling me about this when I see him next.
Neilix huffs a short laugh, then turns his attention to the waitress across the room walking in our direction with plates. I take the opportunity to study his handsome face again while nibbling on the bread.
I could run myself in circles, giving reasons for why each thing happened. I could blame him, and he could blame me. But none of it is helpful, so I need to let it go, especially if I want this friendship to form.
The waitress delivers our food: fettuccine alfredo for me and spaghetti pomodoro with meatballs for Neilix. Then she adds extra parmesan before she leaves us alone.
“This looks great.”