Page 46 of Shattered

A weight bears down on my chest.

I get why he’d be wary.

“I know I hurt you,” he repeats. “But I also felt blindsided by you, lied to.”

I turn my body to face him again. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

His eyes rove my face, seeing the truth of my words. “I know.”

“I’m sorry, Neilix.”

Sucking on his lip, he nods, shifting his gaze to the side as the lingering scent of wet concrete gets stirred up around us. The same small gust of wind sends some strands of hair into my face, but I quickly brush them aside to keep him in view.

I know what happened wasn’t cut and dry. That night was the first time he had gotten drunk or had any type of drug, and I know it all started because he saw me in that bathroom.

I had badgered Jason for any information I could get about what happened that night, and he admitted that Neilix wouldn’t have ever done something like that if it weren’t for something major setting him off.

It didn’t make me feel any better at the time. Nausea still danced around in my stomach, and it felt like my world was collapsing around me.

But I understood his actions a little better.

Maybe my own guilt is why I went to see him. Maybe that’s why I offered to be friends again, so I could make up for cutting him off.

I decide to lay my heart out before me and offer another olive branch. “We’re not those teenagers anymore, Neilix, and a lot has changed. You said you didn’t want me to walk away.” I lift my hands out at my sides before dropping them again. “Well, I’m still here, and I’m still offering to put the past behind us and be friends.”

Gaze falling to the ground, he thinks on it briefly before saying, “You always were as beautiful inside as you were outside.”

“And you always knew the sweet things to say. So, is that a yes?”

A puff of air bursts through his lips, but he only shrugs in response.

Gosh, he looks so lost, so alone.

“Can I give you a hug?”

After a brief moment of contemplation on his part, he finally nods. I close the short distance between us instantly, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my face to his solid chest.

Neilix takes a few seconds to react, but then I feel his arms rest on my back, and my throat has to work through the next swallow. The warmth of his body seeps through his clothing, giving me a comfort I didn’t realize I wanted.

Maybe my mother was right . . . maybe hugs can be a cure.

I tighten my hold, savoring the feel of this moment, and I remember how he once told me the first thing he would do when he saw me in person was hug me. It may be a little delayed, but we’re finally getting that chance.

Reflexively, he squeezes me tighter as well, and we stay like that for a minute.

But then, with sudden clarity, I realize what has been bothering me about how he looks. A detail I couldn’t put my finger on at first when I was too angry to see straight.

Pulling back, I look up at him. “You’re not wearing your glasses.”

Just the mention of them has him lifting a hand as if to straighten them out of habit before he realizes what he’s doing. “I wear contacts to work so my glasses don’t get scratched or in the way.”

Still keeping him in my grasp, I can’t help but trail my eyes over his face, tracing the contours of his cheekbones, then jawline, and then back up to his eyes and brows, as if looking at him for the first time. His eyes become the main focus without his glasses, and the golden hues of his brown orbs shine as the sun peeks through the clouds just in time for it to set.

He holds my gaze, his expression looking more open than he let it be the other day, as if he’s allowing me this moment to really see him.

He’s so fucking handsome, with or without glasses.

I almost get lost in him, and if this were another time and another place, if we were different people, I’d push up onto my tiptoes and press a single kiss to his lips. The attraction is still there, and it probably always will be.

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