Page 28 of Shattered

He chuckles with a shake of his head, sounding both impressed and surprised at what he saw, not realizing he just took a knife and stabbed it right into his sister’s chest. For the second time in as many days, all the blood drains from my face. Regret comes back with a vengeance, seizing my muscles and making the pit in my stomach grow.

I risk a glance at Sienna, who is already staring at me, an array of emotions flashing over her face while tears fill her eyes. I had planned on telling her the truth of what happened, but not in such a callous and insensitive way. I want to apologize to her, but the damage has already been done.

The devastation in her eyes remains, but her jaw clenches and lips thin, and before I realize what she’s going to do, she steps toward me and slaps me across the face. The impact vibrates through my already aching skull, and the sting has my skin prickling.

I deserve it, though.

Drugs may have influenced me, but I think subconsciously, I knew exactly what I was doing. I went and slept with another person last night because I panicked. Not that I remember the moments I spent with her or the details of her face, only that I was wishing for blonde hair instead of black and blue eyes instead of brown. And now I feel dirty.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck?” Jason pulls Sienna back, his gaze flicking between us. I almost forgot he was here. “Why did you slap him?”

She keeps her tear-filled eyes on me and doesn’t answer him. And because I’m partially in shock and completely ashamed of my actions, I can’t seem to answer him, either. Jason keeps looking back and forth, trying to figure out what’s going on. Then, whether it’s him noticing the sunflower earrings she’s wearing right now, or he’s simply clueing in on the utter anguish on her face as she looks at me, the realization hits him, and he shoves my shoulder while getting in my face.

“Have you been fucking around with my sister?” Another shove to my shoulder. “She’s who you’ve been texting this whole time, isn’t it? What the fuck?”

I don’t get the chance to answer him because, not a moment later, pain shoots through my face, the impact from his fist sending me stumbling into the wall. I should have seen it coming—that’s how he reacts to everything these days. He was already fiercely protective of his sisters, but since what happened to Jacob, he’s been unpredictable and his moods and behavior are different. The sharp throbbing continues as I hold my nose, my broken glasses dangling from one ear.

“She’s a fucking kid, you perv!” I peek at him through the lens still in front of one eye, and I can’t even argue with him since that was the same thing I was thinking just last night. “I can’t believe you, man. I fucking trusted you. But you’re as bad as Jacob. And not only that, then you go and fuck around on her as well?”

The impact of his statement is comparable to the blow he just gave my face, and the sudden realization that I’ve not only lost Sienna—the person who was getting me through these past few months—but also Jason, the last of my best friends, only adds to the devastating hit.

I attempt to explain myself to him. I want him to know that, as soon as I found out who she was, nothing happened. “Look, I didn—”

“Get the fuck out of my house,” he growls, cutting me off.

Half stunned and hopeless, panic rises in my throat. “Jason—”

“Get. Out.”

I wipe at the liquid dripping from my nose, the bright red blood coating my hand. My chest squeezes tight while the room feels like it’s collapsing in on me. I look past him to Sienna, begging her with my eyes to help make him understand—to forgive me, something—but she swiftly turns away, swiping at her tears.

“Don’t you fucking look at her,” Jason seethes, stepping into my line of sight.

I want to shake him, or maybe shake myself and wake up from this horrible nightmare.

With Jason looking like he’s about to hit me again, I pull the ruined glasses off my face and start for the door. I’m too jumbled up, and my body feels too shitty to fight back right now. I take one last look at them over my shoulder before I walk out the door.

I’m in a daze as I walk home, the only thing pulling me out of the flashes of memory from last night and the utter pile of shit I’ve got myself into is the blare from a horn when I attempt to cross the street without looking. They could hit me right now, and I wouldn’t even feel worse than I already do.

Walking up to my front door, I see a stack of empty boxes piled up off to the side, reminding me of all the other shit that’s going on in my life. I let out a defeated exhale as I push through the door and quickly walk to my bedroom to bury myself in my bed for all eternity.

...

Neilix: I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Neilix: I’m sorry.

CHAPTER TEN

Neilix

“It hurts my heart seeing you so miserable, honey.”

It’s surprising that Mom’s even noticed, though it’s probably the fact that I haven’t left the house except to help move, and she’s been forced to see me.

Mom brushes past my shoulders as she passes behind me on her way to pour some coffee.

Miserable is only one word to describe me these days.

---