"Aye, aye, captain."
"Okay, now I'm gonna go die a little bit, alright."
"Big hug, D."
"Big hug, Sparky."
Well, that was a debacle, I thought as I set my phone down on my desk in my cubicle. It wasn't the end of the world though. I decided to be nice to myself and maybe take a spa day. And then decided against it. I just couldn't expose my scars to someone. Damn it! I hated my life. Hated that I was afraid of just letting it go and letting my scars be seen. But I couldn't. No matter how much therapy I had, this was the one thing I couldn't get past, which held me back from so many things.
I banged my head against my desk, feeling frustrated.
"You alright there?"
I sat up and curbed my groan that Amias had to walk in right then to see me lose my shit.
"Yep. All okay."
"Why were you…ah…you know?"
"Banging my head on the desk?"
"Yeah, that." He smiled, and his eyes lit up.
Hush, stupid heart, I instructed. He's getting engaged to that evil witch. He was now truly out of bounds. I had to find something new for my spank bank. Was it okay to masturbate to a married man? Well, if you could masturbate to Chris Hemsworth, who was married, why not Amias Westbrook?
"I just heard from Darren. He and his friends went to Vegas and got COVID, I suspect, from a stripper."
Amias' smile widened. "What a coincidence. My Christmas plans fell through as well."
I cleared my throat. "They did?"
"Yeah."
"How come?"
"Well, the plan was to join my family in Switzerland."
I nodded, waiting.
"But," he stepped into my cubicle and leaned against my desk, his leg brushing against mine, "I broke up with Ann, which pissed my mother off, who was expecting an engagement. I didn't want to deal with angry mom at Christmas."
I reminded my heart again to shut the hell up and not get all hopeful. Just because he dumped the evil witch—or did she dump him?—didn't mean that he'd be jumping my bones anytime soon. Or ever. I couldn't imagine a universe in which I'd allow Amias to see me naked. Even if the lights were completely turned off and there was Polar Night around us, so there wasn't even a sliver of light, he'd still be able to touch my scars. So, naked sexy times with Amias was a hell no!
Yeah, because he's just wanting to get into your panties, Naya. Look at him? Does he look like the kind of man who'd want to be with a woman like you?
My heart quietly deflated and crushed hope as it did.
"I'm sorry about your breakup," I said politely.
"Are you?" he challenged.
I blinked, and then immediately, my eyes darted down to my lap.
"No, look at me when you talk to me," he whispered.
"There are people around," I hissed, still staring at my lap.
"Then don't make me say things that may attract their attention." He didn't even keep his voice down. Thankfully, the others were at lunch, the few who were still around and hadn't taken the whole week before Christmas Day off. But someone could be lurking around.