Page 24 of It Must Be Love

"Did you have a good break?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry you were alone."

I looked at him then. Here was my chance! "I wasn't. I spent the day at a shelter. It's something I've been doing for years."

I saw something move in his eyes, pity? I steeled myself against telling him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

"I'm…ah…glad that you were not alone."

"Did you have a good time in New York?" I asked and wondered if I'd revealed too much about how I listened to every conversation he had with anyone around me.

He was in a charcoal gray suit, one I loved on him, with a crisp white shirt. Even at the end of the day, he didn't have a wrinkled look. I on the other hand was in my trustee black pants and a black high-neck blouse that hung loosely around my waist. I'd started wearing loose clothes after the accident because my skin was still tender. Now, it had become a habit, and I found the clothes to be comfortable. The black color was to make my life easier when I got dressed.

"It was good," he replied succinctly.

We were both silent for a while and it was getting to be uncomfortable. "Do you need anything else from me?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No…actually, I was wondering if I could give you a ride home. My car is downstairs."

The way he said it got my back up. I didn't need a ride, I had one already. "That’s so nice of you but I'm good."

"It's fucking cold, Naya," he blistered, surprising me.

"I know," I replied calmly.

"Then let me give you a ride," he bit out.

His jaw was tight. I didn't know what he was up to, but I was starting to believe that he saw me as a charity case. First the job, then a meal like I was an unhoused person, and now a lift in his fancy car with a driver.

"I really appreciate your offer. But I am fine. Thank you again."

"Why won't you just take my help?"

I hated confrontations. Absolutely detested them. I couldn’t help it, I shrank within myself and heard his frustrated, fuck.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking at my shoes, wanting him very much to go away now. I stayed out of everyone's way to avoid such scenes. Even with Ann, it was Darren who'd gone after her at Legal Sea Foods, making me want to shrink and disappear.

He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face. This was the first time Amias was touching me beyond a hand shake. A shiver ran through me.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he murmured.

I licked my dry lips and saw his eyes land on my mouth. I cleared my throat because my words seem to be caught somewhere between my sinking stomach and my pounding heart.

"Let me help you." He came closer, and I stepped back, away from his touch and crashed into the cubicle wall. I didn't want to be close to Amias. I just didn't. I could smell him and his cologne; it was disconcerting, causing chaos inside me.

He looked horrified to see me all but crawl into the wall. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, staring at the beige carpet. There was a stain on it. I spilled coffee a month ago. The steamers would do their thing as they did once a quarter and the carpet would be all clean and nice soon enough, until I spilled my coffee again.

"Naya, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled. He'd touched me and it had been electric and overwhelming.

I wasn't big on subterfuge but mostly no one cared how I felt so no one ever asked. But he was asking, and I was feeling desperate enough to tell him, so he'd go back to his normal self, and I could go back to mine. His concern for me was tempting, except I knew he thought I was boring as fuck, had no curves, and had absolutely no fashion sense.

A part of me had wanted to get a makeover like they do on TV shows but a larger and stronger part of me wasn't going to change for someone else. If I wanted a makeover, I'd get one, but I didn't. I liked how I dressed. I liked who I was. It was hard won, this self-love, and I wasn't going to let Amias, or anyone interfere with the progress I'd made. I was still far, far away from allowing a man close enough to see me naked and maybe that would never happen but at least I didn't look at myself and just see scars anymore. I saw me. I saw Naya.

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