Page 110 of Choke Hold

Luca taps his screen and brings the phone to his ear.

I watch him as I faintly hear Clara’s voice through the speaker in the quiet gym. Luca’s face remains neutral as he keeps his eyes on the mats before him, and just listens. And when it’s over, he takes the phone from his ear and blows out a breath.

Then he chuckles.

“What…” I ask hesitantly, not sure if that’s an amused, relieved or angry chuckle.

His eyes meet mine, and he smiles. “They get it. She said they heard me, and they understand. She apologized for not taking the time to see what was truly important to me, and they recognize that the choice I’ve made is the right one. And they are happy for me.”

“Really?” I ask, a bit surprised by that.

Luca nods. “Yeah. And…” He pauses for a moment, taking in a breath. “She said they love me and know they’ve been showing support in the wrong way, and that they need to back off and let me make my own decisions.” He chuckles again. “She actually said they need to learn to let go of their need to control.”

I let out a breath of laughter. “You don’t say.”

Luca laughs. “No wonder I’m so good at dealing with your bullshit.”

“Fuck off,” I say with a smirk.

He tilts his head and smiles innocently. “Only if you join me.”

I shake my head with a light laugh and Luca continues to smile at me.

He then sighs. “She didn’t say anything about MMA. But that’s ok. This was a major step in the right direction, and the rest of it… well…” he gives me a sly look, “one step at a time.”

I groan. “More fucking stairs, great.”

Luca laughs. “Oh, you fucking liked it. And this is for them, not you, so chill.” He grabs his water from the bench and starts towards the locker room. “She asked me to call them back, so let’s go. I’ll call them at home.”

But I don’t move.

Because there’s something I haven’t let myself think of in a while. And it’s time I do.

He looks over his shoulder at me, then stops. “What?”

I stay quiet for a moment as I let my thoughts organize. “Seeing you deal with your family… it’s making me think about mine.”

Luca steps towards me, brows drawn together and concern in his eyes.

“Well,” I shrug, “my brother.”

He nods. “Ok. Well, do you want to go visit him when we get back from Vegas? Or–”

“Fuck no,” I say immediately, shaking my head. “I never want to see him again. He hasn’t even called me in months, since I ignored his last request for money.”

Luca nods again. “So, what are you thinking then?”

“That I officially need to cut that tie,” I say. “Watching you stand up for yourself to your family made me realize I never did that with mine. I ran away. My mom is gone, and I know I’ll never hear from her again, but my brother… he still has access to me, and I don’t want him to. I had this idea growing up that he was my idol because he kept me out of foster care, but he was the worst possible influence on me. He ruined his life with drugs, and he almost ruined mine too. I made poor decisions, because it’s what he taught me. But I still made it here. Without him.”

Luca smiles softly as he looks into my eyes, and just waits and listens.

“I’m going to call the prison, and remove myself from his list of approved calls so he won’t be able to contact me anymore,” I say, and immediately feel a weight lifting from me. “And I don’t owe him an explanation.”

Luca’s eyebrows lift slightly. “If that’s what you want, then you should.”

I nod. “When families suck, you just have to find your own.”

A smile spreads across Luca’s face. It’s what he said to me the last time we spoke about my brother, and I think about it often. Because I did find my own.

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