Page 89 of Under Crimson Blades

As he looked around the room, Remmus realized the need to amend his statement.

There were plenty of people willing to fight for him, and most had shown up today. There would have been even more if Nina had let them, but she’d known he wouldn’t want the audience.

Unease heaved in his gut. He couldn’t contemplate what would happen once Luna began working on him. His mother’s mental influence always made him feel like he was drowning, and he wasn’t looking forward to feeling that again—or being changed on a fundamental level again.

He couldn’t expect Ava to love him though all these transitions. His psychic signature had already changed with the addition of his new gift—and everything else that’d happened—and this new development might finally tip the scales against him.

His breathing quickened and his heart drummed. The kickback after mating had been significantly less painful than he was expecting, but it still remained, ever-present. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was making a mistake. If this ruined every good thing he had in his life, was it worth it? Maybe a little blood every once in a while was an acceptable price to pay over losing his mate.

“Hey.”

Remmus barely heard the word amid the ruckus in his head.

“Hey.”

More forceful this time, but it didn’t break through his toxic thoughts. Each thread of insanity threatened to send his mind spiraling.

“Remmus!”

Jerking his chin up to locate the source of the shout, he discovered Ava’s hands had planted on his cheeks, her beautiful oceanic blue eyes locked on his.

“You’re okay.” The words were softer now, only for him. “If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. If you want to go back to our house and leave this behind, we can. I’ll follow your lead, Remmus, what you want, because I don’t give a hoot about anyone else here.”

Her expression softened. “But if you do want to continue, if you want to try this, just know I’ll be here. I’ll always be here. You’re it for me, baby. You’re my forever. No matter what happens.”

Pure, unbiased love coursed through their bond. His mate was vying for sainthood, and she didn’t even know it.

Offering her a watery smile, Remmus tenderly grabbed her fingers in his. “I’m okay.” He pressed a reverent kiss into her palm. “Just nervous. Let’s try this.”

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ava’s paws pounded into the earth, bitter winter wind whistling through her slate-grey coat. After four individual hour-long sessions of ‘de-icing’, as Remmus put it, he’d shooed her away.

The process of Luna’s mental healing was akin to watching grass grow. Both patient and therapist essentially disappeared into their psychic space, playing a game of mental telephone while they sat inexplicably still for the duration of Luna’s ‘visit’.

It’d begun a week ago, and now that they’d just returned to the den, Ava could utilize her pack’s frozen territory to run off her anxiety. Remmus’ coercions were deeply entrenched within his mind, and while it wasn’t an outright painful process, it was uncomfortable for him.

On the plus side, it was working.

With each consecutive session, Remmus had commented that he felt lighter, freer, that the coercion that encased his mind was gradually melting away. The compulsion to punish himself over the mating bond had been the first thing they’d worked on—and now he was nearly free of it.

Ava jogged into the den and instantly went in search of her mate, the beast salivating for his presence as she usually did. He was languidly sitting atop a picnic bench, entertaining two pups who were now enthralled in a magic trick.

She watched him delight the children with the mysterious disappearing coin and earn several enthusiastic grins before they bounded away. He told her the other day that Kane, a vampire elder he knew well, had given him a few tips on mating a wolf. Ensuring the den pups loved him was number three on the list. She still blushed remembering the top two.

Remmus turned to her with a mischievous smirk. Squatting, he grasped her scruff dramatically and shout-whispered, “Scooby-Doo, where were you? I was so worried!”

Nipping him for his insolence, Ava shifted to two legs and planted a kiss on his tempting lips before pivoting to greet the two alphas now walking their way.

“Alpha.”

“Alpha Squared, delta Remmus at your service.”

Performing a theatrical bow, Ava’s mate flourished a hand as if pulling off his top hat. “What can I do for you, alphas?”

Humor shined in Riaz’ eyes as he jerked a thumb at Aidan. “I’m glad you’re not a surly old fossil like this one.”

No sooner had the words gotten out of his mouth than Aidan’s arm had wrapped around Riaz’s neck. Placing the male in a choke hold, Aidan chuckled deeply despite the other alpha’s struggles.

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