Page 83 of Under Crimson Blades

His sovereign uttered a single command. “Leave us.”

Those lingering near instantly complied. Xavier clapped him heartily on the shoulder before retreating. Zeke and Kaien remained, unwilling to spare him their witness. He had to push through.

“Sovereign.” The word tasted heavy in his mouth, knowing what came next. “I’ve proven myself unworthy of your clan. Nina, please accept my resigna—”

Remmus didn’t even see the man move.

Kaien’s hand was plastered over his mouth before he could finish the sentence, and furious brown eyes leveled him with a hard glare. His best friend looked positively furious.

It was Nina who spoke. “Don’t you dare, Remmus. Don’t you dare trivialize who you are or what you’ve done for this clan.”

Batting away Kaien’s hand, Remmus leveled an equally malevolent glower at him. Knuckles going white as he braced himself for the fallout, he spoke the truth.

“You’ve had to save my life twice in the last two weeks, sovereign. Possibly more. What am I more than a burden to your leadership, in the trying time you’re facing?”

When the cord of his attachment to Nina began to waver, she clutched at the psychic bond between them like they were her lifeline. In doing so, she disallowed him from simply detaching from the clan’s network.

Fire ignited in her ice-blue eyes, and for the first time in his life, the building swell of her intensity was directed solely at him. “What is a sovereign’s purpose, Remmus?”

Teeth grinding, he looked away. “To unite and protect her people.”

“And what are you if not mine, Remmus?” she contended. “You are of my clan, a Blaede tied to his sovereign, his duty to protect and to be protected.”

The overwhelming tide of failure that followed him like a hungry hound threatened to drown him under the impact of her words.

As though she sensed the negative direction of his thoughts, Nina spoke again. “There is a reason you’re my third, Remmus. You are not worthless; you are not weak. You’re one of the most valuable members of this clan, not only because you’re gifted, but because you’ve proven yourself kind. Trustworthy. Joyful.”

Truth.

“Our lineage doesn’t define us,” Kaien echoed, his voice soft with honesty. “You are not your parents. You are not your compulsions.”

Truth.

Zeke narrowed his eyes in concentration before breaking into Remmus’ thoughts. “I’ve treated you harshly. It was never my intention to be crass or tactless, and I know my words and actions put you in danger. I don’t ask for your forgiveness; I only want you to hear my apology.”

“When you came home, I should’ve paid you more attention, Remmus,” came Kaien’s guilt-ridden words. “My oversight almost cost you your life, and I’ve never been angrier with myself.”

Behind him, Ava’s approaching presence ignited his senses. She didn’t intrude, didn’t touch him, but strode past him into the living room to stand amongst his clansmen.

When he found his attention magnetized to her, he forced himself to look away. This was not going at all as he’d planned. Ava was supposed to reject him, and his sovereign was supposed to sever their clan link.

Then he’d be alone, with no one to be disappointed in him.

“I can’t do this.” The truth was dragged from his soul, laying him bare before the people who mattered most to him in the world. Weariness settled on his shoulders. “I can’t keep failing the people I love.”

“You’re not failing anyone, Remmus.”

Truth.

Snarling through clenched teeth, his eyes flashed as he glared at his sovereign. “What do you call the last two weeks?”

“Will you just stop and listen?” Ava growled. “Will you ever consider that this wasn’t your failure, but ours?”

Whipping his gaze over to meet Ava’s, he frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Not every failure is your own,” Ava reiterated, projecting kindness through their mating bond. “Consider the facts: you came to assist my den, were psychically poisoned when you leapt in front of a bullet for me. You protected me, and I failed to see it. When you came home for assistance, rather than ask for help, you left to avoid overburdening your healer. You were protecting Kaien, and he failed to notice your need.

“When you told me the truth,” her voice hitched momentarily before Ava pressed on, “when you came clean about our past, I failed to forgive, failed to see the truth in the situation. And when you felt my fear yesterday, you teleported directly to me without a single thought to your own safety. Again, you protected me.”

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