Page 34 of The Queen's Denial

Daiki studies my face, and I watch as all traces of skepticism vanish and, in their place, blooms a new understanding and respect. “Yes, Princess Chichi,” he says with the hint of a crooked smile. “Yes, I can trust that.”

*****

Daiki puts my plan into motion, although that’s about all I get from him after our discussion. I still know so little about what might be going on out there, and Daiki is as tight-lipped as ever. He won’t stop me from watching the news though, and reporters have been investigating random explosions around the city that just so happen to be at the GPS points that Oxy gave me. I think I’m happy, especially when there is no loss of innocent life. I see that my men are leading many of the cops on high speed chases and other hot pursuits far out of Boston.

On the other hand, as reports begin flooding in about explosions heard near where Mara, Cas and Andy are supposedly fighting right now, I truly start to worry about them. The one place we were not supposed to go anywhere near is where the heart of the action is, and the cops seem to be staying away from there as well. All the reporters can do is tell us that no one can get in because it’s a private residence. This tears me up more than any other piece of news. I was told nothing from Oxy about explosions in this location, and it seems so much more dangerous for all of my friends to be there than I thought it would be before.

I try calling Mara and Andy exactly one time, knowing they probably have more important things to do than answer the phone. I don’t want to sidetrack them from what they’re doing, so I leave it at that for now. The only solace I have is that every time Diaki looks down at his phone, I see the tiny uptick of the right side of his mouth that he tries to tamp down, and I know he’s pleased.

“So. Do I have the job, Daiki? Do I get to be Yakuza queen?”

He gives me a deadpan look. “You do not try out for the role; it is your birthright. However… you have proven yourself worthy of it today, Sakura.”

I can’t help allowing his words to burrow under my skin and take up permanent residency there. Any small, rare word of praise from Daiki or my father makes me burst with pride, but Daiki’s words today are a different breed. It almost feels like too much. Words like that would be seen by many in my circles to be overindulgent and unnecessary. But it gives me so much strength and assuredness that I spring up and puff my chest out, holding my head high.

“Thank you, Daiki. Please give me a full total of the dead when you get the information, and if you have eyes on Andy, Cas, or Mara, a full update on their welfare would be appreciated as well.”

Daiki’s crooked smile widens. “You are pushing it, my Princess,” he says in Japanese, cocking his eyebrow, and I know he’ll never give me what I ask. If there was bad news, he wouldn’t even give it to me if I were the queen. And I realize that I love him for that. I love him for trying to protect me, even when I don’t want him to. I’ll just have to find out what I want another way.

*****

I’m pacing again when I get the call. It’s Andy’s number, and when I see it, I almost drop my phone in an extremely inelegant way.

“Andy?” I yell into the phone as soon as I pick it up. I get nothing but a groan in response.

I lower my voice. “Andy, is that you? Are you okay?”

“Going to… kill me, woman.” There’s a long pause, and then he says. “Sorry… don’t know… why I called.”

“To tell me you’re alive?”

Instead of answering, he coughs, and the sound sends a chill down my spine. That’s not a normal cough. It’s a rattle. I’ve never even seen him in pain, but right now, he sounds like death already. “You’re hurt. Very, very hurt.”

“It kinda fucking hurts. It’s… definitely uncomfortable.”

“What happened to you, Andy? Tell me, now! I’ll call in reinforcements. I’ll get the ambulance there; I’ll fucking make them go, just tell me what I have to do—”

“Just wanted to… hear your voice again,” he says, and coughs a gurgling cough. I hear a commotion and realize he must be outside. It sounds like he’s rushing, but with the way he’s talking right now, I can’t imagine that he’s up and walking around.

Then his words finally process. It sounds like he thinks this might be the last time he hears my voice. And the only reason that would be the case…

There are so few things that I’ve ever truly believed could touch me. I am scared of so few things in this life, but this is Andy, and I’m definitely scared at this moment. I swallow down my all-encompassing, nausea-inducing fear at the very thought of this being the last time I talk to him, but voice my worry anyway. “Oh my God, Andy. Do not fucking die. You’d better not. I’m serious, I’ll… I’ll…”

“Call the elves to resurrect me?” It’s a near-inaudible rasp, but my mouth drops at the joke. It’s not even a great joke. How is he making fucking jokes right now?

Despite myself, a nervous bubble of laughter erupts from my chest. I feel tears sting my eyes. “I’m serious, Andy. You can’t.” I never beg. I despise it. But I do it now, and I do it with pride. “Please try. Try not to.”

Andy gives a couple of ragged, pained breaths before he seems able to answer. “Yeah… I’ll… I’ll try…”

The line goes dead.

*****

I’ve already attempted to call Mara, but it goes straight to voicemail every time. Eventually I break down and begin calling Mara, Cas and Andy compulsively, hoping someone turns their goddamned device on and answers it.

A restless night turns to morning. The war seems to be over. From everything on the news, including a report of flames at the site of the real fighting, we seem to have won. My father has gained a hearing, and we will be clear to go back to the mansion any time now. But I know I won’t be going. I can’t.

The fact is, I haven’t heard from Andy in over twelve hours. The possibilities of what could have happened and all the ways he might have died by now have flown through my head so many times it’s driving me crazy. I haven’t eaten or slept, but I’m as wide awake as if I drank an entire pot of coffee.

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