Page 83 of Heart Match

‘How can I ever trust you?’

‘I’ll fight for your trust, no matter what.’

I sigh. What is he trying to tell me? What does he want?

‘Last night—’ he says, then swallows before continuing. ‘Last night I was about to tell you something before your friends arrived.’

I almost forgot about that. I wait for him to continue.

‘Whether you forgive me or not, whether you want to be with me or not, it doesn’t change how I feel. I want to be with you more than anything,’ he says.

Here’s your chance to give him a chance, Olivia.

I stay silent for too long, hearing my heartbeats echoing in my head. Would it be too crazy to tell him yes? Would it be too stupid to tell him no? I don’t know. Why is it so hard for me to open my heart? Why is it so difficult to believe a relationship can work?

Then as I watch him there, standing in front of me, saying things any woman would like to hear and believe in, Josh’s words come to my mind like a hurricane, wiping everything out with it. Relationships with stars never last too long. Why would ours be different?

He’s waiting for me to say something and I can tell it’s killing him, because he has narrowed his eyes and creased his forehead as if in pain. I shake my head and just like that I decide my heart should remain protected.

‘I have something for you,’ I say.

I turn around and go to my room and leave him at the door. When I come back he’s still at the same spot, the same way I left him, only he’s looking at my hands, where I’m holding his T-shirts. I give them to him, he almost doesn’t take them, and when he does, it’s as though he’s accepted defeat.

‘So I guess this is goodbye then?’ he says.

It hurts, it hurts way more than I expected it would. The word goodbye is lingering in the air between us, making my aching heart beg me to change my mind. But I’d like to believe that it hurts less now than it would hurt later if I decided to give him my heart. Sometimes, the heart doesn’t know what’s best for it.

I nod. Because I can’t bring myself to say it aloud.

‘What are you so afraid of, Olivia?’

‘What makes you think I’m afraid?’

‘Because I know you are, I can tell by the way your eyes are looking at me right now, and how hard you’re fighting not to take one more step closer to me.’

What?

‘And right now you’re trying to find excuses not to be happy,’ he says.

‘What are you talking about? I’m not making excuses. You lied to me—’

‘And I have apologised. Because yes, I was selfish. I am selfish, because of what I do. I always put myself first, I have to. But with you, Olivia, I want to be selfless.’

Why isn’t his apology enough?

He’s breathing so hard the ridges on his stomach are contracting strong and fast.

‘This, us, it can never work, Luc.’ I fold my arms across my chest to avoid fidgeting with my fingers in front of him.

‘And how do you know that if you don’t even want to try?’

‘I don’t need to, this has been all wrong from the first moment,’ I say through gritted teeth. He might have hit a nerve.

‘You see how afraid you are?’

Why is he doing this?

‘I’m not afraid.’

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