Page 80 of Heart Match

‘First, I’m not unhappy. Second, this is not sabotaging myself, this is protecting myself from what I know has a minimal chance of working and maximum chance of breaking me,’ I say.

‘You know, it takes two to make a relationship work. It depends on both of you,’ says Lexi.

‘Sure, that’s why I cannot give myself fully to someone I don’t know will give their all too.’

‘Then you’re going to have to trust him. You’ll never know if you don’t try,’ says Naomi, and I know she’s got a point. The thing is, I don’t know how and if I can trust a man again. Besides, me and Luc haven’t started on the right foot when it comes to honesty.

‘You guys, you’re talking like he has asked me to be his girlfriend, which is not the case.’

‘Yeah, but what if you don’t even give him a chance to ask?’ says Lexi.

I exhale sharply, emptying my lungs. I wish I could pause this all for a while until I wrap my head around it. There’s just so much going on, I don’t even know which problem I should solve first. My nightmares, my reality or my dreams.

‘Look, until we talked to the media advisor, I hadn’t thought about us beyond Monday. I knew from the start it wouldn’t go beyond that.’

‘But now you are,’ says Lexi.

‘I am what?’

‘Thinking about it.’

‘It’s complicated, Lexi.’

‘I know it is. But he might be just what you need.’

I laugh, because I can’t believe she’s saying this. She knows me better than I know myself.

‘Look, from how I see it, it’s up to you. Whether you need time or not to figure out where being with him will take you, it’s up to you,’ says Naomi.

‘And we’re just questioning and saying all this to you because we want you to be happy and have a life beyond work and one-night stands.’

I give her a stern look, because when she says it aloud it kind of sounds bad.

‘I know.’ I give in, because she’s right anyways.

I lay on Naomi’s lap, she plays with my hair. It feels so reassuring, it feels like my comfort zone.

‘Can you imagine yourself dating the number two tennis player in the world?’ says Lexi all excited, tickling my belly. I curve my body in reflex and swat her hand away as I laugh. What a crazy day filled with mixed feelings and confusion.

‘He’s probably number one now,’ I say.

‘Ohhh, she’s keeping track,’ teases Lexi as Naomi smirks while still playing with my hair.

I’m glad when the topic moves on from Josh and Luc to their lives, it helps me take my mind off my own. I have the impression I’ve neglected them these past days. I’ve always been the one to listen more than talk, because for the past years I had nothing more interesting than work and an occasional flirt to talk about.

‘So, does that mean you’re in a relationship?’ I ask Naomi after she told me Lewis asked her if they could be exclusive. My eyes widen in excitement as I wait for her response.

‘Yes!’ she says, so excited I can almost see tears in her eyes.

‘Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me before?’ I sit up again and hug her tight.

‘It just happened, last night. I wanted to tell you in person,’ she says.

‘I’m so happy for you, honey. Wow, this is huge,’ I say.

If there’s someone I know who deserves a good guy who takes her seriously, it’s Naomi. We’ve known each other for over five years, but the only guy to get as close was Ryan, and well, it didn’t last longer than three months. It took her way longer than that to get over him.

‘I talked to Tommy,’ says Lexi.

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