Page 79 of Heart Match

‘Thank you,’ I say.

‘For what?’

‘For being here when I needed you.’

He pulls me into his arms again. My face presses against his chest and I can’t help but breathe him in.

‘I hope to see you tomorrow,’ he says close to my ear.

I don’t say anything, I pull away from him and say good night. Then I close the door behind me and find the girls frozen, staring at me.

‘What?’ I say.

‘I know you don’t wanna hear this right now, and it probably doesn’t go well with the fact that your stalker ex was just here, but … you are one lucky bitch,’ says Naomi.

#

I tell the girls how it happened, what Josh said, how he came to be in the same room as Luc, and how Luc protected me, intimidating my crazy ex. They listen attentively. We’re lying on the couch on the balcony, drinking frozen Margaritas because Lexi insisted on making them for us. It’s not only her favourite drink, it’s her specialty. I’m in such a state that I accept any kind of alcohol, even very sweet strawberry frozen margaritas with extra shots of tequila. With today’s heat, it certainly helps cool things down.

When I’m done talking, they look at each other, speaking their own language.

‘Can I ask you something?’ says Lexi first.

I roll my eyes, ‘Go ahead.’

‘What’s the worst that can happen if you give him a chance?’ asks Lexi with puppy eyes.

I sigh.

‘So much can happen.’ I feel lightheaded from the alcohol. Margaritas are dangerous when they’re this sweet.

‘I think the worst has already happened. Josh,’ says Naomi.

I process what she has just said, because in a way it’s true. I’ve been hiding from Josh for the past three years, even though he should be the one hiding. I let him haunt me and become my nightmare. I felt like watching my back all the time, I keep having nightmares where I’m still with him, trapped and unable to tell anyone about it.

‘Yeah, Naomi’s right,’ says Lexi.

‘What if he comes back? Should I move again? Should I restart my life one more time?’

‘Honey, I think it’s time for you stop hiding,’ says Naomi.

‘How? I don’t think he’s given up yet. I can’t believe he came over here and told me he missed me. How sick is that? I should have pressed charges when I had the chance.’

‘There’s no point in thinking about the should-haves, honey. If he comes back, you kick him out, you call the police, you scream, you do whatever it takes to keep him away, but that’s if he comes back. What else can he do? You’re a strong woman, you’re not innocent or unaware like you were back then,’ says Naomi.

‘Live your life, that’s what we’ve been trying to tell you for a long time,’ says Lexi.

Their words keep playing in my mind. I get the feeling I’ll need to organise all these thoughts at some point. I say nothing for a while, I only sip my margarita. They are silent too, respecting my silence.

‘Now, will you give him a chance or not?’ asks Lexi again after a long while, really not giving up on getting her answer.

‘We don’t even live in the same country, I don’t even know what kind of chance we both have,’ I take a big, long sip of my margarita. I should stop drinking about now.

‘So that’s it? You’re not even going to try?’ says Naomi.

‘It’s not like that,’ I say defensively.

‘Yes, Livvy, it is like that. We’re kind of tired of seeing you sabotaging yourself, making excuses to pass on opportunities to be happy,’ says Naomi.

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