‘It’s a crazy idea,’ I say, more to myself.
‘Why? I’d be your first client,’ says Lexi, beaming.
‘Second, I’d be the first,’ says Naomi, shaking her head from side to side, doing her happy dance, the glitter in her hair shining under the dim lights of the pub. I roll my eyes at them, hard.
‘Oh, I’ve got another question,’ says Lexi.
Judging by her bloodshot eyes, she’s had more margaritas than her limit—she can only take so much. Her ponytail is already a mess from her running her hand through it unconsciously, her red lipstick in need of a touch up.
‘Are we doing questions and answers now?’ I ask.
‘Last one. Promise you’ll be honest?’ pleads Lexi.
Oh God, this can’t be good.
‘Sure. Let me just order another glass.’
When my eyes meet the cute bartender’s, he smirks in disbelief. He already knows what I want, and reluctantly pours the remaining contents of a rosé bottle into my glass. Did I drink that entire bottle?
Shit. This is not going to end well.
‘Don’t you think you avoid serious relationships because of what happened between you and Josh?’
Josh. Josh Lexington. The name shouldn’t even be mentioned aloud. Because of him, I have an aversion to all the Joshes in the world.
I take a deep breath. I knew this was coming. Ever since they learned what happened between me and Josh, it became a sensitive topic. We have talked about it before, of course, right after what happened, but then it became some kind of restricted area, a forbidden topic. They helped me get my life back on track, and we buried the topic and the name Josh. Apparently until tonight.
‘I don’t avoid serious relationships. I just don’t need it.’
‘Honey, is that your honest answer?’ asks Naomi.
‘Yes.’ It is how I truly feel; I’m not lying.
They eye me suspiciously, not really convinced.
‘What?’ I say, my nose inside the glass, my lips slightly touching the liquid.
‘We just don’t want you missing good opportunities to be with a nice person because you’re afraid,’ says Lexi.
‘I’m not afraid. I’m not,’ I snap.
Am I afraid? No, I’m not. Tsk.
‘Okay, okay, don’t get so defensive. It was just a question for you to think about,’ says Lexi.
Was I defensive?
‘Right, let’s change the subject,’ suggests Naomi.
I could hug her right now if I weren’t so annoyed with her already. I hope the alcohol makes me forget this conversation.
‘Thank you. And let’s get another round because I’m thirsty,’ I say, almost falling off the high stool. Shit. Cute bartender must have heard me and seen what almost happened, because when our gazes lock, he raises a very judgemental eyebrow at me. Whatever.
‘While you’re avoiding a relationship at all costs, I’m trying to be in one for what feels like ages,’ says Naomi.
She’s right. With Naomi it goes like this: she meets a guy, who according to her is perfect. Then the perfect guy has sex with her a few times, tells her he isn’t looking to be in a relationship, they don’t see each other anymore, then suddenly that same guy is dating someone else professing his love on every social media channel. I don’t know if it’s just bad luck, if guys are always such assholes, or if it’s just because her perfect guy’s still out there waiting for her to find him. I almost feel bad about the guys I’ve ‘used’ in the past years. Almost.
‘What about Lewis?’ asks Lexi.