Page 39 of I Need It

Christian allowed me to slide off his lap, and I sat next to him, staring at the floor. I couldn’t bear to stare into his eyes, because I could hear just how broken I sounded, especially when I knew that the man who wanted to love me one day was sitting right here.

“When Janson ghosted me after I said I was pregnant, it only broke me even further. Was I so bad of a person that he didn’t even want to take care of a baby he played a part in creating?” I slowly shook my head. “I’ve known I was pregnant this time for over a month now. I didn’t plan to keep the baby from you, but I wanted to go to the doctor first so I would be able to answer any questions you may have had.”

Christian slid to the floor in front of me and lifted my head. “You’re a beautiful and strong woman. To be able to overcome life’s disappointments the way you have is admirable. Thank you for trusting me enough to bare your heart. No matter how you chose to deal with those disappointments, you’re still here to tell about it.”

His hands slid up my sides, and he gripped my hips and pulled me to the edge of the sofa. “What does all that mean for me?”

“I don’t want you to think that because I’m pregnant my mind has changed.”

“Mya, I can tell you’re feeling me. I felt it day one. Why do you think I was trying to convince you to give us a chance? I’m not a beggar. I mean… look at me. I’m fine as fuck, girl. I don’t have to beg for shit.”

He flexed his muscles as he smiled at me. I laughed. “Yeah, clearly lifting all those hay bales did your body right.”

He chuckled. “You playing, but that was exactly what it was. Hay bales, tractor tires, and all types of other farm equipment. But don’t change the subject. Answer the question. Where do we stand?”

“You are the only man I want. The only one I even want to talk to. If you’re still willing to, I’d like to see where we end up. I’m still afraid to say that I’ll be yours, but I suppose that’s what I’m saying anyway.”

He gave me a slight smile as he gently stroked my cheek. “How about this? Let’s just roll with it without a title until you’re ready to give us one.”

“Sounds like what you proposed almost three months ago when we first met.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

I giggled. I felt so much better. He stood from the floor and sat back on the couch. I lay against him. “Have you always been so wise? I mean, it seems like you always know how to respond to things.”

He took a deep breath, so I stared up at him as he said, “Naw. Besides getting over my ex, I’ve experienced the death of my grandmother recently. That was hard. The hardest thing was my severed relationship with my father though.”

I frowned slightly. “I thought you took over your dad’s company?”

“LaKeith is my stepdad. He came along when I was around twenty or so. My biological father left when I was about eighteen. Seemed like I’d just graduated from high school. Some things he did that I don’t agree with caused me to shun him completely. We’ve talked since then, but it didn’t help much. I still don’t want anything to do with him. Sometimes, relation doesn’t matter. I forgave him for what he did to our family, but I don’t need his presence in my life.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Believe me, it wasn’t. Sometimes, it still isn’t. My brothers talk to him, but I can’t. If he wants to know how I’m doing, sometimes, he’ll text, and I’ll respond. That’s about it. He had to come to terms with that, which just happened recently as well. I’m just too grown to be letting shit drag me down. You’ll get that way the older you get.”

I nodded. “I haven’t told my dad yet. You’re the only person that knows, besides the doctor’s office, of course.”

“Well, we have to call him. I still can’t believe I’m gonna be a father.”

I leaned toward him and kissed his cheek. However, he had other plans. “Naw. Gimme them thick ass lips, girl.”

I bit my bottom lip, trying to restrain my smile, then gave him what he asked for. He pulled me onto his lap again then stood from the couch and went to my bedroom. This had gone way better than I expected. I could tell that he had a temper and could be impatient at times. I was just grateful that he practiced restraint with me tonight.

He set me on the bed and said, “It’s getting late. I have to get up early to make it back for work. Plus, you need your rest.”

I glanced around the room and asked, “What time are you leaving?”

“My first call is at eight, so I’ll probably leave around five-thirty or six. I want to miss the traffic, so it’ll probably be five-thirty.”

“Can I go with you?”

He frowned slightly then sat next to me. “I’m not coming back until Sunday.”

“Okay. Can I go?”

“Hell yeah. Now I won’t be as worried about how you’re doing. Listen… you know my family gon’ be all in our business.”

“It’s okay. I think I’ll be able to handle it better if you’re with me. Besides, I like Mister Jasper and Mister Mayor.”

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