Page 34 of I Need It

“It’s no problem. You think you’re coming down with a stomach bug?”

“I don’t know. It just came out of nowhere.”

“Could you be pregnant?”

My eyes widened, and my mind went back to that day at Christian’s house when he pulled out. This can’t be happening again.

She stared at my stunned face and said, “I have a pregnancy test at home. I can bring it back.”

I still couldn’t say a word as she left to go get it. Christian had distanced himself from me, and here I was looking like a whole fool not even two months after losing a baby. How could I have been so stupid? The knock on the door brought me back to the present. I stood and went to the door, realizing I was panicking. I could barely breathe.

The lady rushed inside to try to comfort me. I supposed her knocking was out of formality, to let me know she was back. “Ma’am, please try to calm down. I take it that you don’t want to be pregnant, but if you are, it’s too late to panic. Okay?”

I nodded as she handed me the test. I made my way to the bathroom and sat there, debating about how I was going to tell Christian that a woman that didn’t want to be in a serious relationship was carrying his baby.

Pulling myself together, I opened the test and pissed on the stick and awaited my fate. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands then stared at myself in the mirror. “When are you going to get yourself together, Mya? You’re better than this.”

I slowly shook my head and grabbed the digital test to see what the results were.

Pregnant.

Tears fell effortlessly down my cheeks as I opened the door to find the young lady standing there. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered.

She put her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “There are so many resources out there to help you through this. Do you have any family here?”

“None that I’m close to. My dad is in Mesquite.”

“What about the father?”

I pulled away from her and turned my head. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to tell Christian. What if he didn’t want to raise a child with me? I knew he was ready for a family, but he didn’t say if he would be cool with coparenting with a woman like me. He somewhat said so when we were talking, before my trip to his house, but I wasn’t sure just how serious he was. He barely knew me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Is there anything you need me to do for you?”

“No, ma’am. Thank you. You’ve done more than enough. Let me pay you for the pregnancy test.”

“Don’t worry about that. I get them from the planned parenthood clinic. They had some fancy ones this time, so I capitalized.”

She chuckled as I smiled. She went to the door, and I followed her. After opening the door, she turned to me and said, “Good luck with everything.”

“Thank you so much.”

I closed and locked the door then vowed to call the doctor to schedule an appointment in the morning. As much as it would pain me to do so, I knew I had to disrupt Christian’s life with this news. However, I would wait until after my first appointment to be sure. Hopefully, the doctor’s office would be able to get me in soon.

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. I couldn’t believe I’d gotten pregnant again so easily. There was only one healthy fallopian tube. The other was still healing. I was probably even more fertile since I had just lost a baby. I lowered my head and walked to the couch. Curling up in the fetal position, for the first time in a while, I prayed and begged God to talk to my mama.

I missed her so much. She would know just what to say to me. If she were here, this shit probably wouldn’t have happened. I was so much better when she was here. I was winging this grown woman shit. There was no one in my life that could provide direction or advice, and I was in desperate need of it to help navigate this shit.

I’m so sorry, Mama.

CHAPTER 13

CHRISTIAN

“First of all, y’all can kiss my ass! Just because I’m the mayor doesn’t mean I have to kiss y’all asses. I’m sick of this prejudiced bullshit. I see why Abney didn’t run again. He was sick of y’all asses too!” Uncle Storm said at the town meeting.

Every Henderson was on their feet clapping. We were definitely in the majority. Some of the older people were complaining about the Hendersons developing land for more housing. Apparently, Uncle Storm had had enough. He stood from his seat and yanked his tie off.

“Fuck this shit. I don’t need to be mayor to run this shit.”

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