Page 55 of I Need It

He tore his gaze away from mine and looked down. “No. I don’t see anything, baby.” He lifted his gaze back to mine. “You were right. I’m sorry.”

I lowered my head for a moment. “No. I turned my back on you because of my own trauma. I’m sorry. You said you needed me, and I still made you leave.”

I broke down in tears, and he quickly swiped them away. “No, I get it. If you weren’t strong enough to handle my brokenness, you did what you needed to do for you and our baby. Your well-being is important to me, baby. I’m still working on some things, but I knew I needed to come check on you. I miss you, girl.”

“I missed you too.”

He kissed my lips as the paramedics came through the door. Thankfully, they had a board with them. I was so scared. Christian stood and stepped out of their way as he spoke to the officer. I knew the officer didn’t want to pressure me too much about what happened, and since I wasn’t in a life-or-death situation, it could wait.

“Ma’am, what’s hurting?”

“My lower back is throbbing, but I keep feeling a sharp pain go up my spine.”

“Okay. We’re going to put this board here behind you and roll you back to your back. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Most likely, you’re probably experiencing anxiety, but we are going to get you to the hospital for them to rule out everything else and to check the baby.”

I nodded slightly, then they rolled me to my back. I cupped my stomach in a protective manner, still praying that everything was okay as they strapped me to it. I glanced up to see Christian still talking to the cop but staring at me. He gave me a wink and a slight smile, easing my nerves a bit.

Once they lifted me, Christian grabbed my purse and keys from the floor. Shit! I hoped my laptop wasn’t broken. I think I fell on top of it. That may have been why I was hurting so badly. Thankfully, I had a Microsoft account that saved all my work to OneDrive, where I could log in and access it from any computer.

Once outside the door and down the stairs, they lowered me to a gurney. I noticed Janson sitting in the back of the cop car, staring at me, sadness filling his gaze. That shit wasn’t remorse for what he did to me though. I believed it was regret for not leaving when I told him to.

“Mya, I’m gonna follow behind the ambulance. Okay?”

I nodded as Christian leaned over and kissed my head. I was so grateful he showed up when he did. Janson was going to leave my ass on the floor. Had I been severely injured, it would have really been bad. He would have left me to die.

The paramedics got me in the ambulance, and one stayed in the back with me while the other went to the front to drive. He started an IV and made small talk. Once he asked what happened, my floodgates opened all over again, and the pain spiked. My blood pressure was through the roof at that point.

He pushed something through the IV he’d started a minute ago, and I started to calm down almost immediately. “What was that?”

“It was a very low dose of Midazolam. High doses and long-term usage can affect the baby. Since this is a one-time usage, the risk is minimal. Anxiety attacks can definitely affect your baby though. Be sure to breathe deeply, and try your best to stay calm. I’m sorry I brought it up. If it continues to happen, I’m sure your doctor will recommend things you can do to naturally help with that.”

“Thank you.”

My eyes started getting heavy, so I knew it was about to knock me out. My tolerance was shit when it came to pain medications. I glanced at the paramedic and smiled. That was the last thing I remembered before that medicine guided me to dreamland.

CHAPTER 21

CHRISTIAN

Iwas so happy I let Karima talk me into going to check on Mya today. When I parked and saw a nigga barge into Mya’s apartment, I grabbed my gun from the console. A surge of fear had gone through me at the sight. It wasn’t a fear saying that I was afraid of him, but a fear of not knowing what he had done to her. I could hear her screaming for him to get out.

When I got to the open door and saw her on the floor, I wanted to shoot that nigga right then without asking questions. My baby was on the floor hurting, and it was because of his ass. He deserved everything he got plus some. He had better be glad she wasn’t more hurt than she was, or I would have definitely killed his ass. I didn’t have bitch in my blood, and I was sure he learned that today.

Uncle Storm and Uncle Jasper had taught us all how to shoot, but I was even better at it because I hunted with Uncle Jasper when it was deer season. I couldn’t wait for November to roll around. Sometimes, Uncle Philly came out there with us, and he showed me even more tricks to hitting my mark. Philly’s famous line was that he could shoot the nuts off a mosquito. He’d taught me to do the same.

As I sat in Mya’s room while they had her in X-ray, I couldn’t help but to think about the talks I had with Karima. To say she was still in her twenties, she was a smart woman. She was older than the twins, but she was about six years under KJ and me. She had wisdom beyond her years. She’d taken the best of both Uncle Kenny and Aunt Keisha and converted herself into a powerful and fearless woman who knew her worth and refused to put up with bullshit.

She was private about her personal shit, but she shared with me why she and her boyfriend broke up. I just knew she’d met the man she was going to marry, but she said after he lost his job, he thought he was going to ride her coattails. Karima was big shit in the rodeo world and was predicted to go to nationals next year for barrel racing. She was doing the damn thing, even more than KJ it seemed.

She took her career seriously, but I didn’t expect anything less since she learned from the best. Aunt Tiffany had been training her since she was six years old. Out of everything she said to me, these couple of things stood out.

If a woman can’t feel like she matters… like she’s your number one priority, your best bet is to leave her alone until you can make her feel that way. As a man, you have to be the leader and have your shit together, especially for a woman that has been through trauma like Mya.

She needs to know that she is safe with you and that you feel safe with her. Not necessarily physically safe, but that you’re emotionally safe. If you can’t be vulnerable with her, sharing your deepest fears and worries, then she will feel like you’re stringing her along for other purposes. She should be your number one confidant.

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