Page 32 of I Need It

I walked away from her and went back to the shower without another word. Hearing her pants, I slowly shook my head. I was sick of random ass sex. I felt like I had already told Mya that. Maybe the age difference was playing a huge role. She wasn’t as mature as I was. She didn’t understand how to eventually take life’s disappointments, learn from them, and move on.

As I washed up, I heard the faucet come on at the vanity. I wasn’t sure why she didn’t just get back in the shower and wash up. I supposed my words struck a nerve. When I got out, I noticed she’d found the towels and was standing in front of the sink, washing off. I slowly shook my head.

“Get in the shower, Mya.”

She glanced at me then grabbed the towel and walked past me. I smacked her ass and watched that shit jiggle like a bowl of Jell-O. She glanced back at me, and I saw a slight smile on her lips. I dried myself off then oiled my skin. There was nothing worse than dry skin. That shit felt like it would crack at any moment. I learned that shit quick when I was helping with the rice fields, in that hot ass sun all day.

I slid on my drawers and shorts then grabbed the lotion for my feet and went to the bedroom. After sitting on the edge of it, I rubbed some lotion on my feet then put on socks. I left Mya to her business in the bathroom and went to the kitchen to warm my food. I was starving. When the doorbell rang, I wanted to roll my eyes. I couldn’t be upset though. This was my family dynamic. We dropped by each other’s houses all the time. We all lived in the same neighborhood, thanks to Nesha’s brilliant mind.

I checked the peephole to see KJ, Jacob, and Rylan. I smiled slightly and opened the door. When I did, they all turned their noses up. “Nigga, why you half naked?” KJ asked.

I gave him a one-cheeked smile as they walked by me, heading inside. Jacob caught the hint right before he sat on the couch. “Oh shit. He has company. Uncle Jasper said she left.”

“She came back,” I said in a low voice.

“Well, I guess we better go congregate somewhere else,” KJ said.

They all headed back to the door. “I’ma hit y’all up later,” I said.

“A’ight,” they said in unison.

I slapped their hands one at a time then went back to my food. After I took it from the microwave, I slid Mya’s in there as well. I thought she would eat while I was gone, but it seemed she slept most of that time. I huffed as I sat in front of my food.

My mama said to be patient and understanding. I didn’t know how to be when I felt like the decision should have been easy to make. For two weeks, I’d been showing her I was trustworthy. I knew that wasn’t a lot of time for some people, but shit, it was more than enough time for me.

The decision seemed simple as fuck. Like… what better options did she have? Janson? Surely, I was the only man willing to go to the ends of the earth for her. If I wasn’t the only one, she wouldn’t be single. If she wanted to have a family one day, why couldn’t that day be today? Nobody in my family had been indecisive. Well… I supposed Mya wasn’t being indecisive. She decided that she wanted to be for the fucking streets right now. I nodded repeatedly and decided to let her be.

Fuck it.

CHAPTER 12

MYA

Itook the money and put it in Christian’s nightstand so he wouldn’t try to give it back to me before I left. Once I finished drying off and putting my clothes back on, I joined him in the kitchen. His dick was something serious. That shit had my straightened hair looking like a fucking chia pet. The money I spent getting it done wasn’t even important when I saw that shit hanging between Christian’s legs.

I forgot about my makeup and everything at that point. Now I was bare faced with a semi-straight afro. Lawd have mercy. The dick was so worth it though. I had a feeling that I hadn’t even gotten his best. He seemed to be somewhat disconnected. There was no way we could continue this way. I didn’t know why I didn’t keep my fast tail self out of that damn bathroom.

I knew we needed to talk, but my ass had jumped the damn gun. Just the shit he said to me while he was balls deep inside of me had me in my feelings. That shit shouldn’t have had me feeling a way though. I said I didn’t want a serious relationship right now, but imagining him in a serious relationship with someone else had me in my feelings big time.

Sitting next to him, I opened the container of food that he’d warmed for me. “Thank you.”

“Mm hmm,” he said as he ate his beef tips.

That was his favorite from the diner. Whenever I talked to him, that was what he got every time he ate there. Every now and then, he got the stuffed chicken. I dug into my rice dressing and practically stuffed my mouth so I wouldn’t have to talk. I closed my eyes for a moment, realizing I was being childish.

I glanced over at him and said, “So what do we need to talk about?”

He glanced back at me and closed his food container. He turned to me on his stool and slid his hand over his beard. His face had reddened some. “Mya, I was pulling away from you, because all I could think about was making you mine and fucking the shit out of you. Last week at your place shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have gone that far… just like today.”

“Why? You said you would be cool with this.”

“I thought I would be. Turns out, I’m not. I want a relationship with you, so I can’t settle for just this. I couldn’t even fuck you like I wanted to. I was barely in the moment at times. I surely don’t want to put my life on hold, waiting for if you change your mind. Time is something I can’t get back, and I’m almost thirty-five. What if you never come around?”

I lowered my head. I felt like I wanted to cry, but instead, I sucked that shit up and closed my container. My thought process was so fucked up it seemed. Being careful about relationships was second nature now. I always ran into fuck niggas who put on a damn act until they got to know me. I had to be sure Christian was the real deal. Two weeks wasn’t long enough to truly know him.

I didn’t have to know him to fuck him, especially since I didn’t want my feelings to get involved. With the way his words were affecting me, they probably already were involved. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. When I looked up at him, he was staring at me. “I guess I better go then, huh?” I asked.

“You don’t have to leave, Mya. I’m just telling you where I stand.”

---