Page 73 of The Actor and His Secret

Her jaw grits, muscles feathering. ‘I know. Everything. Which is why I’m asking you to just hold on, a few more hours, and I promise it will all work out.’

‘How can you promise me that, when this is rock bottom? When there is no further depth I can possibly sink to?’

‘Because - ’ Selina takes a deep, rattling inhale as a calculating shift passes behind her eyes. ‘Because there is somewhere you can go. Welcome to rock bottom, Nikos Drakos. You feel that floor beneath you? Push up. That is where you go. Use all that anger and grief, and fucking push up. Kick. Fight. But don’t you dare give up now the floor is beneath you and you finally have something solid to launch off of.’

Her words settle over me like the cool kiss of snow. I long to close my eyes and lift my face to the sky, soaking them in.

Selina uses my name. Not the one she’d only ever known me by, but the one I was born to - the true secret I left behind. My eyes snap open, and I see her nodding, as if reading my mind. But before I can question her, there is a hesitant tap at the door before the show-runner pops their head around.

‘One minute to go,’ they say, biting nails.

Everything is happening so quickly. I look to Selina for support, knowing I will always find it, no matter what.

‘If you can’t find the strength to push up yourself, do it for someone else. Do it for Oli.’

For Oli.

‘Forty-five seconds. And please, do something about his bleeding hand. It’s morning television.’

‘Then get out,’ Selina snaps on my behalf. The door closes. The timer is counting down.

‘Ready for a quick change, Mr. Drakos?’

I swallow hard, unable to shake her previous words. For Oli. Do it for him.

‘Into whom?’ I ask, ‘Nikos Ridge? The fake persona?’

Selina shrugs. ‘To be honest, I don’t care. You decide who steps out onto the studio floor. This is your story, Nikos. Write it. Beginning, middle, and end. Just make it fucking epic. Can you do that?’

Can I do that? It’s a question I’ve never even contemplated. But I know the answer. I know now what my lies will ensure. Oli’s safety. Oli’s protection. I will do this for him, because he reminded me of who I truly was, outside of Nikos Ridge, the actor.

‘Michelle?’ I ask.

‘I get the feeling you’re on your own on stage,’ Selina says, ‘but you know that is never the case in life. Not when I’m around. I’ll be there, stage left. You need me and I will come out on that stage and save you.’

‘What would I do without you?’

‘Figure that out later.’ Selina winks. ‘Time to show the world the person you want to be.’

29

OLI

The plane circles around JFK airport for fucking ever before it lands.

I’m bleary-eyed through the descent, the flight one of those weird red eyes where it lands still practically in the middle of the night. It’s going to be 5am in New York, but my body is all messed up with the combination of adrenaline and exhaustion.

It doesn’t matter. I’m going to see Nikos.

The moment the plane touches down on the tarmac, I’m up and out of my seat, clutching my backpack and ready to pull my carry-on out of the overhead bin. But then an air stewardess glares at me, and I sit back down sheepishly. When the pilot comes on the intercom to announce that we need to wait for a gate, I start to get anxious.

I check my watch - it's nearly 5:15am now. I’m going to have to sprint through the airport and pray that I get a cab quickly and that there’s no traffic. The morning show tapes live at 7am. I have to catch Nikos before he goes on the air.

I need to tell him that he’s safe. That we caught his dad and cornered him. That I have the evidence on my phone, and it’s also been sent to Megan’s computer and loaded onto her hard drive and a USB, as well as uploaded to the cloud. We’re taking no chances with this one. Nikos’ insurance is as safe as can be.

The first thing I check on my phone is the mornings news. Pain cramps in my gut as I see that Nikos is set to reveal a big secret live on air today, and all signs are pointing towards an engagement. Half of me wants to die, knowing this is what my presence has pushed him towards. But I know it is the price to pay. If only I can tell him that he is free from his fuckstick of a dad, then maybe he can see that his life is his own to do with as he pleases, with me or not. If this engagement to his co-star is actually what he wants, at least he can make that decision with a clear mind.

There’s a heavy weight in my pocket, and I can’t wait to get rid of it - the watch I stole from Nikos. His dad was wearing it when we caught him, hidden under the cuff of his janitor’s uniform. I bet that he just hadn’t had time to pawn it yet. I’m relieved that I’m going to be able to give it back to Nikos and make things right - I didn’t end up hurting him after all.

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