Page 30 of The Actor and His Secret

Oli takes a moment to silently study me, drinking me in just as I am with him. He bought a black velvet blazer, a loose white shirt, and fitted jeans with my credit card. He looks handsome, yes. But not like Oli - nothing like the man I find endearing in his knitted jumpers and faded Doc Martins. I’m not sure I like this dressed-up version of him - he doesn't seem like himself.

The first course hasn’t been brought out yet, and I’m already contemplating taking the clothes off him, burning them, and forcing him back into the clothes he actually wanted to wear, not what he thought I’d like him in.

Truth is, I’d prefer him with nothing on.

‘What are we doing, Nikos?’ Oli’s question comes out of almost nowhere.

‘Having fun,’ I reply as if that’s good enough of an answer. ‘Enjoying each other’s company.’

There’s a faint hint of sadness in his tone as he asks the next question. ‘Whilst we can?’

‘I’m in London until the end of the week. I thought we could…get to know each other. Make some memories, before I go back to reality and you…’

‘Stay behind in my reality.’ Oli shuffles in his seat. ‘So this thing between us is simply to pass the time.’

There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach that I don’t quite understand. ‘Why, did you expect something more?’

He shakes his head, hair falling over his eye. I long to reach over and brush it back, not wanting anything obscuring his beautiful heart-shaped face. ‘No. No I didn’t. I guess it’s just good to set some boundaries, right? To… protect ourselves.’

‘Protect ourselves from what?’

‘Feelings.’

A shiver passes over my skin. ‘Yes, ok. I think that’s smart.’

‘I’m not saying you’re even capable of catching feelings, and I know I’m not ready to either. But if we just lay out the groundwork, set the parameters of what this is, then it will make things clear cut. Black and white. No risks.’

I lean back in my seat, already hating where this conversation is going, but knowing it’s necessary. ‘I’ve never been one to follow rules, so please, take the lead.’

I swear I can hear Honey swallow. ‘Ok. So, tonight is an exception, but no more dates. No more doing nice things together that might jeopardise our feelings.’

‘Are you feeling… jeopardised now?’

I hope you are.

‘No. This meal… is a business meeting, right? I mean, that’s what you told the waitress.’

‘It can be whatever you want.’

‘No, it can’t.’

I stop for a moment, noticing the clear hurt in Oli’s eyes. I want to ask why he’s hurt, but he diverts his gaze away to the knife and fork in front of him and starts to fiddle with them.

‘I have an idea,’ I start, which makes Oli look back at me. ‘Why don’t we fuck the rules. We don’t need them. We’re two men enjoying each other’s company for a few days. If you don’t want to see me again after tonight, you simply need to say the word. I’ll respect that. We both know nothing will work between us anyway, and I don’t want you to feel used.’

He looks at me through those devilishly long lashes and I swear his next words make me instantly hard. ‘What if I want to be used? If only for a few days?’

‘Why?’

‘A way to take my mind of my reality, whilst you are clearly escaping the responsibilities of yours.’

‘Touché,’ I reply, spreading my knees out beneath the table to allow for more room between my thighs for my very hard dick.

‘So we have a plan?’ Oli asks.

‘Sounds like we do.’

In what I swear is an attempt to prove that he isn’t overthinking something, Oli looks me dead in the eye, picks up his fork, and drops it on the ground.

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