Page 20 of The Actor and His Secret

But I’m not a good thief, so I’d made sure to replace the affirmation with one of my own. I’d taken the pen from the sideboard, and a new post-it, and written a message.

As sweet as Honey, you are certainly enough.

- Adonis

I’d almost written thank you, but that felt like a cheap way to end the night we’d shared. Although the thanks were certainly justified. What Honey had taught me in such a short period of time was a lesson I’d never forget.

How long until I see a photo of that post-it note on the front page of a newspaper, next to my name?

I suppose in time I’ll see.

‘Selina?’ I start, knowing she is seconds from finally getting some sleep.

She jolts up, as if the plane had just nose-dived. ‘What now?’

‘How long are we in London for? You know, as my punishment?’ I ask.

‘A week.’ Selina closes her eyes again, crossing her arms and leaning back in the reclining seat. ‘Why?’

I stare out the window again, the alcohol still untouched. I don’t know the direction England’s in, but I find my eyes drifting out across the sea of clouds, wondering about Honey. I haven’t stopped thinking about him. He haunts me, distracting my thoughts from anything else.

I wonder how long his spell will last on me, and if I’ll be able to cope with reality once it catches up.

‘No reason,’ I say, catching my smile in the reflection. It’s calculating as a plan forms in my head.

‘Then let me sleep, damn you,’ Selina complains. ‘We land in half an hour.’

‘Have you ever tried mushy peas?’

‘Nikos, I will kill you.’

I laugh to myself as I reach my fingers into my pocket and feel the edge of the post-in note bite into my skin. ‘Please don’t do that. I’d like to explore London as much as I can when we return.’

‘Then stop talking.’

Selina doesn’t see me do it, but I zip my fingers over my lips.

The rest of the flight passes so quickly. I’m lost to the memory of Honey, while looking forwards to the chance to make a few more before I actually have to return to my normal life.

Maybe it’s selfish, but I crave him. His touch, his distraction. Regardless of the risks, I can be careful.

He’s worth it, after all.

Because last night, I hadn’t thought about the real reason I’d left the premiere from the moment I exited the bathroom with Honey. The second the thought of my father comes back to me, I want to pry open the door on the plane and throw myself out, just in hopes the winds carry me back to Honey.

At least with my little secret, I can pretend to be someone I’m not. No expectations, no past or future.

The present with Honey is safe. I crave him more than alcohol.

You are enough. You are enough. You are enough.

‘Yes,’ I whisper to the window, breath fogging over the glass. ‘Yes, you are.’

9

OLI

I float into work. It’s practically like I’m levitating.

---