Page 35 of Knocked Up By the Bikers

Given the state of this place, I’m about to ask which customers, but then I remember what Raylan told me. They tend to come out in the late afternoon, most of them sticking to the long shadows and darkness of the night to get their fix and their money in the right pockets. This street is livelier once the sun goes down, though not in a good way.

The defeated look on Raylan’s face tears me apart inside. He watches as Paulie goes back into the house. We both hear the front door lock turning twice. We stand in silence for a while, and I give Raylan all the time he needs to decide what he’s going to do next. It can’t be easy for him. He feels responsible for these people, even though most of them are adults.

“He is in charge of his destiny,” I feel the need to tell him.

“I promised them that they would be together again,” Raylan says, lowering his gaze in pained shame. “As your father was waffling and telling me that he’d make sure to divert funds into a new community center, I was telling the nuns that they’d be back here and the kids that they’d only be in foster care for a while. It’s how I convinced the church to surrender the land. It was a financial black hole for them, anyway, but the nuns had been so resistant to selling even when the archbishop tried to put his foot down. I’m the one who sealed that deal.”

“Because you believed my father. But you’re not responsible. Hell, Raylan, you got swindled, too, if you think about it.”

The way Raylan looks at me feels different. Profound. Emotional. I see things in his eyes, things I wish I knew for certain, things I already feel within myself yet cannot voice them.

“People are complicated, Ariana,” he says. “They may seem simple, but they’re not. And the reality is never black and white; it’s always too many shades of grey. Your father is lost in these shades. I don’t want you to get lost in them, too. That’s why we’re coming out to see these places, to meet these people.”

“I know.”

“I’m not sure you do.”

And that’s where the conversation ends. He hands me my helmet like I’m supposed just to take it and put it on. To hide under it again and let him take me back into captivity. But I do precisely that. I accept my fate. I no longer fight it, except when I’m alone with my screw, still toiling away at the window frame. Eventually, I’ll get that old thing to budge. I only wonder if I’ll have enough courage to leave when that happens. There’s no telling where or how this ends.

By the time I get back to my room, it’s midday, and the sun is shining. It’s beautiful out, but I need to stay upstairs. There’s a game on TV in the clubhouse, and customers are already pouring in. I’m wondering more often how much longer the guys are going to keep me. Sky, Kendric, Raylan. They’re becoming important to me. But they are still my captors. I am still their prisoner. Despite the obvious shift in our rapport, that one fundamental aspect hasn’t changed. I deserve better than this.

“From the minute we brought you here, we knew there was something different about you,” Raylan says, prompting me to turn away from my barred window and deep thoughts in genuine surprise. “We knew you weren’t aware of a lot of what was going on with your father.”

“Something tells me I have plenty more to learn,” I mutter.

“You do. But it needs to come in carefully measured doses because the truth is a hard pill to swallow, Ariana, and given how we brought you here in the first place, I can’t blame you if you don’t fully trust us.”

“I don’t understand what it is that you want from my father, though.”

Raylan comes closer, his shoulders broad, his figure tall as it casts its shadow across the room. The walls are slowly closing in, the air between us getting thicker and harder to breathe. The effect that he has on me is undeniable and downright frightening. I fear that I might lose control altogether, and given how I’ve been spending my nights, already in Sky or Kendric’s company, my cheeks burn red with shame as I dare to imagine adding Raylan into the mix.

“What we want is something you’re not ready to hear, sweetheart,” he says, and the way that word rolls off his tongue has my pulse racing.

“I’ve been here for quite a while,” I reply. “I’ve seen and heard enough. You should give me more credit. Sweetheart.”

He stills mere inches away from me, his expression shifting from mysterious amusement to something fiery and playful, something decadent and exhilarating as his lips part, ever so slowly. The flicker in his eyes dances in shades of green and grey, making my skin tingle all over. “Call me that again, Ariana. Call me that again.”

“Why?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. A strange new power surges through me. The kind of confidence derived from feeling wanted, I suppose. The way Sky looks at me when we make love, the way Kendric whispers “baby” in my ear whenever he takes me from behind, it’s lighting fires within me, blazing flames that lick at the fabric of my reality, causing me to say and do the craziest things. “Why do you want me to call you that again, Raylan?”

He closes the distance between us and sneaks an arm around my waist, pulling me close. His hard muscles smash into me, knocking the air out of my lungs as I glance up at him, utterly defenseless and already turned on. “Because I want to hear it. I want to feel the way Sky and Kendric feel when they’re with you,” Raylan says, then kisses me.

There is no room for objection. No way for me to withdraw.

Despite the shame cutting through me like a sharp knife, I let his mouth conquer mine, his tongue sliding in and playing around, exploring and tasting at will. I moan in his tight embrace and run my fingers through his messy, dark brown hair. I breathe him in; I delight in his conquest, and I let his hands roam up and down my body.

But then he pulls away, panting. The alarmed look on his face has me frozen with worry.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice a mere whisper.

Sorry? I don’t get it. What was that? I’m alone now. Confused. Turned the hell on and then some. What was he thinking? Oh, God, he knows about Sky and me. About Kendric and me. It must mean that Kendric knows about Sky, too, and vice versa. Spike’s comments come back to haunt me: They share everything. These three share everything, including secrets and their women.

Riddled with embarrassment, I curse under my breath and decide it’s time to run away from everything. But the only way out is via this barred window. Once again, I have faith in my trusted screw and go back to working hard until I get the metal frame to come loose. Once again, I choose to turn away and run off as fast as my feet can carry me.

Because facing my truth has become too much.

12

Sky

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