Page 155 of Every Shade of Shadow

He closes the door behind himself while I swan to the center of the room. Fuck it. He knows. He always knows. Better to come out with it. “It’s Isadora, isn’t it?” I tell him.

He places the box on the bed. “I’m afraid so.”

I look at him more keenly, can see more easily past the manipulation now. “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” he says, sliding his hands into his pockets, “as did your parents.”

“So why couldn’t you stop her?”

He purses his lips and scratches his jaw, pacing away from me. “I couldn’t stop her, Ana. Not alone. I couldn’t turn her in, either. It would have been her word against mine. We had no hard evidence. Your parents…” He ceases talking altogether, a smile of bitterness spreading across his face. “We were close, and they were powerful, but I knew after their death it would take more. A weapon would have to be sculpted, a weapon of precise purpose.”

I fill in the blanks, a horrifying realization coming over me. “And that weapon is me?”

He nods. “It is. They knew it too. They knew that in my hands, taken through the trials, you could become more powerful than the three of us combined and finally put an end to this.”

I’m trying to put this together. “They gave their blessing, for you to…” I can’t even verbalize it, to hash out what we’ve done together, the Professor and me.

“Yes,” he says, stepping forward and taking my shoulders, “but I also promised to keep you safe, to watch over you,” he sighs, dipping his head. “That is where I made my biggest mistake.”

“What do you mean?”

He looks at me, eyes remarkably soft even though they continue to burn with purpose. “I became infatuated with you over the years—obsessed. I watched you grow from a child into a beautiful young woman and knew I had to bide my time, to wait until you,” he pauses, seems to have trouble coming up with the appropriate word, “matured,” he finishes.

I don’t know what to make of this. Should I feel sickened I was stalked and groomed, that my parents promised me to this monster of a man, knowing exactly what he’d do to me? Should I be thankful for his protection? Disgusted?

I don’t know.

He raises my chin up with a solitary finger. “I cannot tell you how I suffered seeing you with other men, their filthy hands on you…but I made sure they never took your innocence. That was mine,” he growls. “It always has been. The thought of you with someone else…” I see the rage on his face, all-consuming. “I could not bear it, so I made sure.”

The mind control. He’s used it on them, on me…who else?

His grip on my shoulders firms. “You don’t understand, Ana. If they had taken your innocence, I could have never lived with myself. I would have had to kill them—or worse.”

A bell sounds out, marking the start of the ball.

“There’s more you should know,” Damien tells me, “about your parents, about my oath to them, but it can wait. I want you to enjoy yourself tonight.”

“And Isadora?”

“Later,” he smiles, pressing his lips to my forehead. “For now, forget about such things. For now, act as if everything is as it should be.”

*

There must be over two hundred people in the Academy ballroom and yet it still looks empty. There are floating disco balls above, modern lighting brought in that sweeps around the room. Mixed with the candlelight coming from the perimeter of the room, it’s nothing short of incredible.

I reach up to adjust my lamb mask—the very same one I wore in New York gifted once more to me by the Professor in his little black box.

I pass him now in his wolf mask, but he’s engaged with other faculty members.

I come up to Lily and Ava. Lily’s in a pink gown that somewhat matches her hair wearing a Minnie Mouse mask. Ava’s in black—no surprise there—with a Velma Dinkley mask, which makes perfect sense.

“The Velma mask suits you,” I comment, forcing a smile as I turn my attention to Lily. “Same goes for you, Lily,” who scoffs. “Well, you know what they say about Disney.”

“What’s that? Hakuna matata?” says Ava, voice muffled.

Lily’s head gives a little wobble. “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

I laugh. “I’m dreaming of a drink right now. How about that?”