Page 136 of Every Shade of Shadow

I wince as I throw off the covers, extending my hand to meet his and letting him help me to rather unsteady feet. I fall against him, one hand flat against the marble of his chest where his heart beats hard and firm.

He takes my hand and kisses it lightly, eyes closing as he breathes in. “And to think I never thought I’d find such perfection.”

Perfection?

I’m far, far from that.

I came to Lumina out of necessity. Falling for a creature like this was never part of the plan, especially one twice my age—a man so powerful he can strip the flesh from my bones with a single whisper.

But is it love or something else? Something darker. Is it Stockholm Syndrome, that I am so damaged and fundamentally broken I have fallen for my captor?

Just look at what you let him do to you. He’s taken every hole you have and more. He’s killing you.

‘Let him’? That’s a stretch, but these moments of tenderness don’t stack well against the mountain of torment he’s put me through using the guise of what? Making me powerful? Preparing me for some as yet unseen plan of his?

Mortis is out there right now. My friends could be in danger, and what am I doing?

“Hmm,” he murmurs, and I’ve completely forgotten he’s inside my head. “Curious thoughts, my pet.” He lifts my chin. “Have I developed feelings for you? Of course, and they come with their own complications, but you must know there is purpose here in what we do. We can defeat Mortis, but it requires everything. Do you understand me?”

I nod.

“Come,” he says, “and think on it no longer. Tranquillitas Mentis.”

Mind black, I follow him to the bathroom.

*

Entering the common room, I realize I need to stop being so transparent. I’m wearing a smile wider than the Brooklyn Bridge. Tranquillitas Mentis might be wearing off, the aches and pains returning, but bathing with the Professor this morning was something—and that something didn’t involve wild sex or clones or petrification. No, it was me, lying against him in the water, no words spoken, nothing sexual about it. Only a warm blanket of satisfaction enveloping me. Us.

Only relief.

Lily and Ava are already there, but I’m not greeted by enthusiasm when I take a seat by the fire. “What?” I ask, quickly double-checking to make sure I’m wearing actual clothes.

Lily shakes her head. “Fucking hell, Ana? Where have you been?”

My chest starts to tighten. “Why?”

No one speaks up.

I look to Ava. “Is someone going to fill me in here?”

Ava’s picking at her fingernails. “They found Professor Kirkland this morning, or what was left of her. Someone had stuffed her into that silly suitcase she carries around.”

I lean back. “Shit.”

“The official line,” Ava goes on, “is that she quit, flew out, but everyone knows what really happened. Even the faculty here aren’t safe now.”

I look to the fire, but even that seems to be suffocating. “All the more reason we keep training. If we’re prepared—”

“What?” Lily snaps, surprisingly angry. “Kirkland was Academy Ward Master. She specialized in magical defense, and she still got fucking murdered. What hope does that leave for any of us?”

I can hear the defeat in her voice, but I don’t believe we’re powerless here. Maybe it’s this morning, spending time with Damien, but I don’t feel weak or vulnerable today. I feel I could take on the fucking world.

Lily’s not done. “And where have you been disappearing to, by the way, because don’t think we haven’t noticed you slipping out at night. We had an agreement, remember? We stay together.”

“I know,” I start, “but—”

“It’s him,” Lily says, levelling a finger at me, “fucking Darkwood, isn’t it? What’s he told you? You’ll be gifted with unlimited power if you let him fuck your brains out?”

---