Page 3 of Twenty-Three Years of Longing

She rose from her seat and walked over to me. I stood and we shook hands. “Orion, I know what I am asking of you. If I thought for one minute that you weren’t capable, I’d never have asked. Tabiq is my home. These are my people. I love them very much. It’s just that...” she placed her hand on her abdomen and added, “that I can’t give them the time they deserve. Not any longer.”

“I understand completely.” She was doing this for her family. I respected that. It was her views on family that made her such a good president. And now they were stuck with a happy bachelor.

“I guess there is nothing more for us to discuss tonight, so why don’t we join Finn in the kitchen before dinner gets cold?” she suggested.

Eating was the furthest thing from my mind. My stomach was twisted in a knot as I was riddled with an entirely new level of stress.

“One more question before we go. When does this change take place?” I asked.

“Unofficially, the moment we shook hands. But it will take time to prepare the announcement. So, this stays between us for the next two weeks. That also should give you time to get things in order on your side as well.”

Two weeks? That is what she calls needing time? I’m glad she didn’t say this was going to be rushed because I’d probably be starting yesterday.

Finn came into the room and looked at the two of us. Reesa smiled and nodded. Then he turned to me and said, “You look like you could use a drink. I have some stout with our names on it, if you're interested.”

I wasn’t a beer drinker, but today I’d make an exception. “Sounds good.”

We headed into the kitchen and the rest of the night was filled with lighter conversation. And I was thankful for it because my mind was running in a million different directions, and I could recall only a small portion of what had been said.

When I arrived home, I didn’t even bother to turn on any lights. I knew where the bottle was. I grabbed a glass and poured a hefty shot of bourbon. I downed it. The burn didn’t even bother me as I headed to the couch. Sleep wasn’t going to happen so why bother with the bed?

Tonight, I needed to mentally process what just transpired and somehow convince myself that Reesa was correct. That I am the right person to continue with what she’s started.

I knew that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t relate to what the women of Tabiq had faced. I could only sympathize with them. No matter how hard I tried, I knew I would never be able to fill Reesa’s shoes.

Pulling my cell phone out of my suit jacket, I tossed it on the coffee table near me. Instantly it vibrated. I looked at the caller ID. It was my grandmother. The woman who had raised me. Not a call I could ignore.

“Hello. Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Of course it is. But I just woke from a disturbing dream,” she replied.

Grandmother believed that dreams were our ancestors coming to warn us of things to come. The fact that it was a disturbing dream wasn’t a good sign. Not that I believed in such things, but she did, and that was enough for me.

“It’s okay. I’m fine if that is what you’re worried about,” I told her.

“Good. I’m glad you’re okay, but I am not sure for how long. I saw you at the hospital sobbing. Something is going to happen. It’s going to break your heart.”

Just what I needed to end this night. “Grandmother, you know that I don’t cry.” Never had. Not even as a child. Maybe that’s because I had built walls around my heart after my mom left me and my younger brother here to fend for ourselves. If my grandmother hadn’t taken us in, I have no idea what kind of person I’d be now.

The former government were not just corrupt, but they preyed on the young males and forced them into a life that one could only describe as pure evil. They were used to enforce the human trafficking that had taken place. I couldn’t live with myself if I had been part of such cruel and disgusting behavior. And my grandmother was the one who protected us from that kind of life. I owe her more than I can ever repay.

“Orion, I know you don’t cry. That is why this is so disturbing. There is only one thing that causes such pain.”

“And what is that, Grandmother?”

“Great love. Only at the loss of great love can such pain occur,” she sighed. “I know this from when I lost your grandfather. I am afraid you are about to suffer a great loss.”

There was only one other person I was as close to as my grandmother, and that was my younger brother Mayson. I had just talked to him, and he was fine. And as far a having a woman in my life, I didn’t have time. And there also wasn’t any that had me wanting to change my life to make the time.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not in love with anyone, never mind dating,” I reminded her.

“My dreams are never wrong. My heart hurts for you, and for what is to come, Orion.”

“Good night, Grandmother.”

“Good night, Orion,” she said, and ended the call, uttering softly, “I love you.”

If what she felt was true, the only loss I was feeling was from my job. I loved helping those kids. Graduation was coming in a few months and every time I handed the graduating class their diplomas, my heart just burst with joy. But now some stranger would be doing it. Someone who hadn’t put in the time. Someone who didn’t know their names or the struggles they had to go through to get where they were.

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