Page 58 of Twenty-Three Years of Longing

I loved her positive thoughts. I needed them now.

Hell, I love all of her.

“Good night.” I reluctantly ended the call and went back to sit with Mayson. Although she didn’t get an answer from the judge, she still sounded good.

Better than me.

“Did I miss anything?” I asked.

“No. How is Raya?” he questioned.

Raya had told me that I could share with Mayson what she was doing back in the States. He had been shocked to learn what she had been through, but like myself, he was very supportive of her. I could feel his genuine concern for her. Raya was special. And everyone who met her felt it.

“She has to go back to court tomorrow,” I replied.

“That sucks. I know you were hoping that she would be on a plane heading back here,” he said.

That I am.

“She still needs to settle things with her son. It’s not like she can finish with the court and just drive to the airport. I’m sure Joey will have plenty of questions for her as well.”

I couldn’t believe the judge was making her bring Joey with her. Why? Was he going to turn custody over to Joseph? I sure in hell hoped not. That would kill Raya. Joey is her life. But there was nothing I could do about it from here. Except to hope and pray that the judge saw the woman, the mother, that I did, and Raya was given full custody of her son.

The door to the waiting room opened and Finn entered. Mayson and I leapt from our seats. “How is she,” we both blurted out.

“She is stable. The operation had a few complications. She will need to be closely monitored for the next several days,” he said.

“But she’s going to be okay?” I asked.

“We will know more after the next forty-eight hours. As I said, she has a lot of heart damage,” he stated.

I wasn’t even prepared to think that she could die. But Finn had told us the surgery itself was risky with her status. The fact she made it through, gave me hope.

“What can we expect after forty-eight hours?” Mayson asked.

“It will be a long recovery for her. I know she will not be happy to hear this, but I do not see her going back to living alone. I’d advise against it,” Finn stated.

“No problem. I’ll take care of her,” I said. God knows she’d done that for us when we were little and abandoned.

“If you would like to go see her, you can, but only one at a time. And she is highly medicated, and out right now,” Finn said.

“Thank you for everything. I never thought we would be doing this. She looked so healthy just a few days ago,” I stated.

“I know what you’re going through. I just did the same thing with my mother. Women are good at covering up what they need to, so we don’t worry. What they don’t understand is, that is what makes us worry all the more,” Finn stated.

Fact!

When he left the room, I turned to Mayson and asked, “Did you want to go in first this time?”

He shook his head. “No. I need a little bit to process this. You go,” he said.

I wasn’t sure I was prepared either, but I needed to see her. I went through the door that Finn had instructed me to go to, and the nurse led me to her room. There were tubes coming out of everywhere, some draining and others pumping things in. She looked like hell. I considered myself a strong individual, but hell, I could never work in the medical field. I felt my stomach twist and I worried I’d hurl.

Forcing myself to sit by her bedside, I sat quietly. All the years seemed to come flooding back, like looking through an old photo album. She gave so much of her life to us. And always with a smile. Never complaining. And at her age, taking two rambunctious boys on was not something planned for. But she did. And even after my grandfather passed away, she never stopped putting us boys first. Working and providing for us was just one piece. But she took the time to listen and to know us, help us become the men we are today. We owed her everything.

I choked and only realized then that hot tears were running down my cheeks. We had almost lost her. And still might. But I still needed her. I had so much more to learn. Like how to be a good husband. A great father. Raya was going to come back, and I knew I and I knew the part I wanted to play in her and Joey’s life.

Grandmother. You can’t leave me now. I need you. We need you. Keep fighting for us. I wiped my cheeks, and said, “I love you, Grandmother.”

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