Page 39 of Twenty-Three Years of Longing

My mind hadn’t stopped thinking about what Mayson said. Love? What did he know about love? Mayson avoided serious relationships like they were something fatal. I knew him well enough to know that he was just using the L word to get a rise out of me. He’d pushed my buttons his entire life. Usually, I didn’t fall for it. This time, I walked right into the trap. He must be gloating to himself right now.

I had a lot on my mind. That was a good excuse for falling for it. But even as I sat there, I knew it was something more. Was it love? I wasn’t sure. Never been in love ever. I’d had serious feelings for a woman before, but not love. I did know that whatever it was, the feelings were strong and seemed to be growing each time I saw or spoke to her. And I didn’t want it to stop.

She was the most understanding and independent woman I’d ever met. Raya gave me my space to do what I needed to get done, and what she wanted the same for herself. But when we were together, the focus was on us, no distraction. One might say this was a perfect relationship. We still hadn’t even discussed if this was one. But the way we kissed, it sure wasn’t like a friend. It was a promise of what was to come.

No rush on either of our parts. Somehow, we both were on the same page. It was going to happen, but only when we were ready, and when, we were sure.

When I could say I love you.

Neither of us were virgins. I just knew that what I wanted with Raya wasn’t something short-term. She was right. I had bought that house for a reason. Never had I thought I’d be moving out. Not that I wanted a dozen children, but a few sounded good to me. That house was meant to be filled with laughter and love. The entire time I lived there, most of the time all I did was read and sleep. But she was going to give it life. Raya was going to make it a home. Something I could never do. It would be nice if one day I lived in it with them too.

This is what pushing my buttons has done, Mayson. Now I can’t stop thinking about her and she’s busy tonight so I can’t even see her. Thanks.

Was she really busy? Had she only said that because I told her I had a lot to do? Either way, my night was planned. Hopefully finding a place that was vacant and convenient.

I shouldn’t complain. Mayson was allowing me to crash on his couch. All I needed to do was put up with his little digs. But he was right. I had options. I could go and get a room at the resort, but Raya would definitely find out about that. Telling her the truth was another, but then she would probably back out of being at my house. I sure in hell didn’t want that. And if she by chance asked me to stay with them, that wouldn’t be right either. Joey and Raya needed time alone. Time to settle into their new lives here.

There was even more to think about. If I lived with them, it wouldn’t look right, and we’d be the talk of Tabiq. Not good for the school administrator or the Vice President to be shacked up. Not that it should matter, but people would say that we weren’t good role models for their children. I could see their point.

Unfortunately, it was Mayson’s house or my grandmother’s. For all the razzing Mayson gave me, it was still better than trying to explain any of this to my grandmother. She could read me well and would know when I was lying. She was someone I needed to avoid.

As though she knew I was thinking of her, my phone rang, and it was her. If I didn’t answer, she would call again. And if I avoided her too much, she would call Mayson, who would love to share his speculation with her.

I answered the call and held my breath. “Orion, why have I not heard from you today?”

“Grandmother, I was going to call, but I realized how late it was. I know you go to bed early,” I said. That was true.

“And how am I to sleep when I don’t know if you’re safe?” she asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be safe?” I asked.

“You are not the school administrator any longer. As Vice President, you will have people who disagree with your policies. Some of those are willing to do anything to prevent them from taking effect. You cannot go about your life as you have been. I want you to promise me that you will call me every night when you get home. Is that clear?” she ordered.

“Yes, Grandmother. I promise. From now on, I will call you each night. But you do know that I am busy and sometimes I will need to call before I get home so I don’t wake you,” I explained.

“Good. Because I have not forgotten about that dream. Have you?” she asked.

I had no idea what she was talking about. “No, I haven’t,” I lied. Big mistake. By her long pause, I knew she was about to call me out on it.

“Orion. This is not something you should take lightly. I meant what I said. You are going to suffer pain like you’ve never experienced. Your heart is going to break. Listen to me. Prepare yourself for it. It is coming whether you like it or not,” she said.

Fuck. That crazy dream. Now I remember.

“I will be careful. I will prepare myself” I said. Not sure how to prepare for something you don’t even believe will happen but for her, I would try.

“Good. You know I am only telling you this to protect you,” she said.

“I know, Grandmother. I love you, but it is late, and you should go to bed,” I said.

“Yes. I’m tired. I'm very tired tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you, Orion. Good night,” she said, ending the call.

At first, I thought I had gotten lucky with her cutting the call short, but then I couldn’t help but worry about why she was so willing to let me go so easily. That wasn’t like her at all. She did sound tired. Should I call her? Drive over and check on her? What if she really was just tired and all she needed was sleep? She would remind me that she raised me, and not the other way around. Stubborn woman. Maybe I should wait and call her in the morning. If she still sounded tired, then I wouldn’t wait and make her come with me to get checked out.

There was one last call I wanted to make before calling it a night. I dialed Raya’s number.

“Hello Orion. How are you?” her sweet voice filled the room.

“I’m good. Just getting ready for bed, but wanted to see how your day went,” I said.

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