Page 13 of Twenty-Three Years of Longing

No way. It was hard enough not to be there to kiss him goodnight and to hear about his day. I was calling, whether he liked it or not. “Joey, it’s a school night. You know you can’t go out to the mall.” I never allowed him out until Friday. Some parents didn’t take their children’s studies seriously, but I wasn’t one of them.

“No school tomorrow. It’s a professional day and only the teachers need to go,” he reminded me.

“Oh, yeah. That’s right.” What was wrong with me?

“You never forget anything, Mom. Maybe you need to go to bed early. Remember, you have work tomorrow,” he said, turning the tables onto me. I could see the joy he was getting out of it too.

Not going to happen young man. I’m still your mama.

“I guess I have a lot on my mind with my new job. There is so much to learn.” I was glad to hear Kathy wasn’t totally breaking my rules like I feared.

“Yeah. You told me that was going to happen. You said you were running a school, but it was like you were also going back to school. Still don’t understand that. It’s not like you must sit in a classroom and have to do homework when you get home.”

“I do have homework, just not the same kind you have,” I explained.

“So, this is kind of like the first day of school?”

“In a way,” I replied.

“Were you excited and nervous?” he asked. I nodded and then he got all serious. “Don’t worry, Mom, you’re going to make friends and it will be okay,” Joey said. “And before you know it, you’re going to want to go to school just to see them.”

I chuckled softly to myself. That’s my boy. “You’re right. Tomorrow will be easier.” What would make it easier would be never having to see Orion again. I was so embarrassed. Kathy would get a good chuckle if she knew what transpired tonight. Too bad she’ll never know. “Joey, you better get going so you’re not late. Why don’t you call me when you get home from the mall instead?”

“Okay. Kathy said we can’t be out too late anyway. Bye, Mom.”

“Bye Joey,” I said, but the call ended too quickly. I love you.

I held the dark screen over my heart as though I could hug him from afar. He looked good. Sounded good. I should be happy. Not that I wanted him to miss me as much as I was missing him, but maybe a little more wouldn't hurt. But this is what you get when you raise your child to be strong and independent.

My phone was fully charged, so there was no need to leave it on the table. And just in case he or anyone needed to reach me, I wanted to keep it close. No way was I chancing a replay from earlier.

It was still early, but my body hadn’t fully recovered from the flight a couple of days ago. Even the time zone difference was going to take time to adjust to. With no dinner plans, and since I wasn’t hungry, there was only one thing left for me to do. Try to get some much-needed sleep.

Before doing anything, I needed to make sure that the door to my room was securely locked. It was, but I still put the small brass chain across the top to prevent any more unwelcome guests.

With everything set, I walked over to the bed, and let my robe slip off my shoulders and drop to the floor before crawling beneath the cool sheets. A soft moan escaped my lips as I sank into the plush mattress. This was luxury, and it felt wonderful. Sleeping naked was something I enjoyed, but couldn’t do at home for fear Joey would come in. None of those worries tonight.

But that didn't mean my mind was at peace. Even though I knew Joey was okay, nothing else was. Ziva and Alex said they should have a few places for me to look at in two days. How was I going to manage that when I hardly had time to myself now?

A place of my own for me and Joey was top of the list of importance. I didn’t want him and me to share a hotel room. I wanted a place that felt like ours. Joey was used to having his own yard to play basketball in. A neighborhood where he could ride his bike with friends. In my mind, finding a place that was ours would help Joey feel more like home.

It sounded horrible, but I didn't want a place too close to my parents. I loved them, but we still didn’t see eye to eye. And I really didn’t think they had forgiven me for not returning to Tabiq sooner. And I knew they would try to change Joey, make him a Tabiqian. It’s not that I didn’t want him to know his roots, but I wanted Joey to be who he wanted to be, and not force it down his throat.

I like him just the way he is. He’s my little Joey. Just not so little anymore.

I was different too. Outspoken and stubborn. Not the traits you normally found in a woman here. At least you didn’t when I lived here. But Ziva wasn’t quiet or shy. She’d lived here all her life. No one looked at her differently when she spoke up. Maybe they won’t when I do. Of course, I must admit, I’d done so a few times with Orion. He was so hard to read, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

Well, at least usually I couldn’t. But the way he looked at me when I was in the bathtub wasn’t professional. Yeah, he’d been concerned, but that changed to....to something more, much more...intimate. It’d been a while since a man looked at me like that, and at another place or time, I wouldn't have kicked him out. But thankfully, he and I hadn’t been alone so I didn’t have to wonder what might have happened. Because nothing can. Not with him.

I pride myself on being professional. No matter what little butterflies I get in my stomach when he looks at me, I wasn’t going to let him know.

Just another stress that I didn’t need.

And something I sure in hell didn’t expect.

CHAPTER 5

Orion

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