Page 127 of This is Why We Lied

“You mean all the birds?”

“Yes, but I keep coming back to Mercy’s mom,” Faith said. “The way Bitty talked about her own daughter …”

Sara shared her disgust. “I can’t imagine what kind of person you’d have to be to hate your own child. What a miserable human being.”

“Kids can teach you who you are,” Faith said. “With Jeremy, I tried so hard to be perfect. I wanted to prove to my parents that I was adult enough to take care of him on my own. I made schedules and spreadsheets and kept all the laundry done, and then one morning, I realized it’s okay to eat food off the floor if it’s closer to your mouth than the garbage can.”

Sara smiled. She’d watched her own sister make these same calculations.

“Emma is teaching me how good a mother my own mother is. I wish I’d listened to her more. Not that I’m going to start listening to her now, but the thought is what counts.” Faith’s smile didn’t last for long. “Talking to Bitty, all I could think is that she didn’t learn anything. She had this beautiful little girl, and she could’ve made the world a wonderful place for her, but she didn’t. Worse, she chose Dave over Mercy and Christopher. And now, Mercy is dead, and Bitty hasn’t learned anything from that, either. She can’t stop shitting on her own daughter. I know I joked about her acting like Dave’s jealous, psycho-ex, but it feels pathological.”

“I wouldn’t say she’s done any better by Christopher,” Sara pointed out. “She basically ignored him at cocktails. I saw her slap his hand when he tried to get more bread.”

“What about Cecil?”

“Mercy said something to me last night that’s really been in my head a lot today,” Sara said. “She asked me if I had married my father.”

Faith looked at Sara. “What did you say?”

“That I did. Will is a lot like my dad. They have the same moral compass.”

“My dad was a saint. No man will ever measure up, so why even try?” Faith shrugged, but she hadn’t really given up. “What made her ask the question?”

“She was telling me that Dave is like her father. Which makes sense after seeing her X-rays. She suffered a tremendous amount of childhood abuse.” Sara wondered how much Will had told Faith about Dave. She didn’t want to overstep. “From what I’ve heard, Dave has two sides. Like Cecil, he can be the life of the party. Then there’s the other side that can hurt the mother of his child.”

“Most abusers are like that. They groom their victims, they don’t come in showing their entire asshole. But don’t let Bitty off the hook,” Faith said. “She could’ve physically abused her kids, too.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Sara said. “In my experience, women like that take more pleasure in psychological torture.”

“I know finding Mercy was hard for Will, but I’m glad she wasn’t alone when she died.”

“She was worried about Jon,” Sara said. “She told Will to make sure that Jon knew she forgave him for what happened at dinner. Her last words, her last thoughts were only about her son.”

Faith rubbed her arms like she was cold. “It would kill me all over again if I thought Jeremy had to carry that kind of guilt around for the rest of his life.”

“Jeremy has a lot of people who would look after him. You made sure of that.”

Faith clearly didn’t want to get emotional. She looked up the trail. “Fuck me, is that your cottage?”

Sara felt a pang of sadness when she saw the beautiful flower boxes and the hammock. They had lost their perfect week. “It’s really sweet, isn’t it?”

“Are you kidding me?” Faith sounded ecstatic. “It’s like something Bilbo Baggins would live in.”

Sara hung back as she watched Faith bolt toward the stairs. There was a familiar, sickly sweet odor in the air that she couldn’t quite place. “Do you smell that?”

“It’s probably me. You don’t want to know what came out of that horse.” Faith slapped at the side of her neck. “Another mosquito. Look, do you mind if I take a quick rinse off? I can’t tell you how gross I feel.”

“Let yourself in. Check the chest of drawers for some clothes. I’ll wait for you outside. It’s too pretty to be indoors.”

Faith didn’t ask questions. She dashed up the stairs.

“Faith!” Sara’s heart had shot into her throat. “Stay out of my suitcase, okay?”

Faith gave her a look, but said, “Okay.”

Sara watched her disappear. She prayed this would be the one time Faith wasn’t nosey. Will would quit his job and move to a deserted island if she found the giant pink dildo Tessa had packed in Sara’s suitcase.

She waited until the door had closed to turn back to the view. Her body felt shaky from exhaustion. Neither she nor Will had slept the night before. And not for the reason you shouldn’t sleep on your honeymoon. Sara took a deep breath. The sickly sweet odor was still there.

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