Page 20 of Psycho

I absentmindedly reached for the small nick on my throat. “No,” I said. “I’ll explain it all soon.” Yeah, me explaining to Travis and Declan about how I threatened to off myself in front of Ray didn’t sound like a fun time. They were both going to be pissed.

Something else came to mind, something that would’ve been on the forefront of most people’s minds, but I wasn’t quite normal. I knew that by now.

“Did I…is Brooklyn—” For some reason, I couldn’t say the word dead. Silly, considering the fact that I’d tried to kill Ray and I’d let him lead me in stabbing that girl in that basement. Me and blood—we were tight. Me and murder…also tight, not that I was proud of it.

“She’s alive, but you might’ve given her a concussion.” Travis shrugged, and I could tell just by the way he talked he didn’t really give a shit. “I didn’t stick around to check. I was too busy trying to find you like a madman.” A harsh breath flowed from his lungs, and his blue eyes darkened as he stared at me. “You drive me mad sometimes, Ash.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, not that much sorry at all. It wasn’t something I could help. I might’ve stepped into the mess between Sawyer, Declan, and Travis, but on the flipside, they also stepped into my mess. Into Ray’s mayhem.

Travis didn’t get a chance to say anything else, for it was at that moment that the front door opened, and Declan rushed in. He wore a wrinkled shirt that I bet he’d spent the last thirty-six hours in, along with jeans that hugged his lean frame well. His brown hair was an unkempt mess, but he looked amazing all the same. Even though Ray’s words rung in my head, I couldn’t help but feel happy to see him.

It felt like years, stupid as it was. Picturing his face and actually seeing it were two totally different things.

The moment Declan’s brown eyes spotted me, his lips parted and he rushed to me. It was like Travis wasn’t even in the room as he hurried to my side, swept me into his arms, held me against his body, and kissed me with a passion I didn’t know he was capable of. I was too stunned to move, to react, but soon enough I relaxed and let myself taste him, if only for a few moments.

Reunions. You never could tell how they were going to go.

Declan released me, and his hands were slow to drop off my face. He plopped himself on the coffee table in front of the couch, slowly moving his stare from me to Travis. Something unspoken passed between them, and I wondered if Declan somehow knew that Travis had fucked me against the door.

“Wonderful,” Travis bit the word out, and I could tell he wasn’t exactly thrilled to watch Declan embrace me like that. Honestly, as long as he didn’t go Rambo on him, I didn’t care. No more attempted murder or kidnapping here. That was so last week. “Now unless you want to take her upstairs for an extended reunion, can we talk about what the fuck happened Saturday night?”

Cheeks flushing red, Declan swallowed and turned to me. “Are you okay?” He wouldn’t drag me upstairs or fuck me against a door. Declan wasn’t like that. He was…well, at one point in time I would’ve said he was more gentlemanly, kinder than that, less wild and rough, but now I started to suspect differently.

If what Ray said was true, if Ray hadn’t hurt Declan…was it possible Declan had done it to himself? Depressed people were on a rollercoaster; it wasn’t always a straight shot up. Sometimes you went down, and sometimes, after you went up, you actually felt worse. Maybe because you knew how bad things could get. Maybe because when things started to get better, you let yourself start to hope. There were a lot of stupid, dangerous things in this world. Love, hope, and faith were three of them.

“I’m as good as I’ll ever be,” I told him. I let out a sigh. “What do you know about Ray Ruiz?”

“We know who he is, what he did, how he got off,” Travis rattled away.

“What we don’t know is his connection to you,” Declan added. “Travis said it looked like you knew him.” Dark stubble graced his jaw, as if he hadn’t shaved since before the ill-fated Halloween party. I liked a smooth chin, but for some reason, that stubble made me warm up in all the right places. It made him look older. It made him look a bit like his brother, Will.

Oh, God. Will. I’d have to ask about him after all this. I was pretty sure he was supposed to come home from the hospital the other day.

“Ray Ruiz is my ex,” I said, glancing in the kitchen, at the stained knife on the counter. Travis had seen it, but Declan hadn’t. The moment Declan saw it, I could’ve sworn I heard him gulp. These rich boys were used to their games and their machinations, but they weren’t used to the chaos of the Midtown Strangler. “We’ve been on and off for the last few years.”

Declan’s brows came together. “But he’s, like, thirty-five, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I said. “We met when I was fifteen, and he was thirty-two. Our relationship was always on the illegal side of the law.” I really didn’t like talking about it, explaining him and my past, but it was necessary. “When I turned eighteen, I went with him for a weekend getaway. Told my mom I was at Kelsey’s. He took me to a cabin in the middle of nowhere, and he…”

For a moment, as I stared down at my hands, they were covered in red all over again. A flashback, a picture-perfect memory I wished wasn’t so perfect after all this time. Ray was the reason I woke up in the middle of the night, having panic attacks. Ray was my weakness, but now wasn’t the time to lose myself in my weakness. I had to be strong. For myself, for these guys, for the future I wanted.

Ray would not get me again.

“He had a girl ready, chained up in the basement,” I continued, glancing at Travis. “He handed me that knife. Ray marked an X on her abdomen, right where he wanted me to stab her. It was…the same spot Will was stabbed.” My voice trembled a little at that, and I couldn’t help but notice Declan’s lips turn into a frown. “I…I froze, so he wrapped his hand around mine and guided it in.”

The serrated steel piercing flesh, the girl’s whimperings. It was all so vivid in my memory, I wanted to be sick. I wanted to throw up the nothing I’d eaten today. Breakfast, at least, had long been digested. The funny thing was, I wasn’t even hungry. The last thing on my mind right now was food.

“She was still alive when I left, but I know she died. The police found sixteen bodies in the ground.” I let out a shaky breath. “There were only fifteen when I left.”

“How did you get away? He just let you go?” Declan asked. His hands were curled into fists, and I couldn’t tell if he was upset at me basically saying Ray was Will’s attacker, or if it was the general whole of my macabre tale.

I shook my head. “After I stabbed the girl, I stabbed him, and then I ran. I ran through the woods until I found a gas station. I called Kelsey.”

Travis spoke, “Kelsey knows about all of this?”

“No. She didn’t know we were dating. I think she suspected, because she saw me covered in blood, but she never pushed. I…I kept Ray a secret from everybody. No one knew I was seeing him. Not Kelsey, not my mom, not anyone. He could’ve killed me and no one would have known.” And then I said something stupid, “Maybe he should’ve. You guys, at least, would’ve been safe. Will would’ve been safe.”

“Fuck that,” Travis practically growled out, leaning towards me. Aggression seeped from him, but I wasn’t scared. Travis didn’t frighten me. “Let him come again. Let him come for me, and I’ll show him that he’s not the big bad around here.”

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