Page 38 of Psycho

As long as he didn’t kill me during sex, I was fine with it. Besides, I knew by now Travis liked it rough, and since we were not at his place, where I knew for a fact he had restraints ready, this was the best he could do.

When he entered me, I let out a cry. Or I would’ve, if his hand hadn’t been around my neck, stifling my voice. Travis filled me up in one fluid motion; it was enough to make me forget about what happened downstairs, me going off on Sawyer. Being connected to him like this was practically otherworldly.

Travis’s hips moved fast and hard, and he kept a firm hand around my throat as he pumped in and out of me, my body merely taking whatever his would give me. I arched my back into the bed, allowing him to push in deeper, fill me up as much as my body would ever allow any cock. My core craved more, and I knew I’d get more. I’d have my fill and then some, because that’s how this worked. How we worked.

This…this was always how it was supposed to be. Never me and Ray. Me and Travis, me and Declan. Me and the rich, hot mess that was Hillcrest and its students. I thought Ray was my destiny, my ending, but I was wrong. This was a life I’d fight tooth and nail for. The man with a dragon wrapping around half his body and intricate tribal markings on the other was only one of the guys I’d fight for.

They were mine, and I wasn’t going to let Ray take them from me, or me from them.

My name was Ashley Bonds, and even though I’d like to pretend I was different, I was just like them, messed up in my own way. The only difference being? This psycho had pink hair, and she wasn’t afraid to play dirty.

Chapter Eighteen – Sawyer

I’d be lying if I said Ash’s words didn’t bother me, mostly because they did. Everything she said bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Ash, as blunt as she was, only spoke the truth when it came to me. She wasn’t one to sugarcoat things or tell white lies to make things easier to swallow.

I was just a shitty person. I didn’t want to be, not really, but deep down I was, and there was no changing it. The things I’d done, the things I’d said, all in the name of my sister—Ash was right. She’d never met Sabrina, but she was right all the same. Sabrina would hate to see me like this. I wasn’t the heroic older brother. I was just a washout, a has-been. Someone who fucked up constantly and never thought the world would get fed up with him.

The problem here was that I didn’t have a world anymore. I hardly had a family. I didn’t have friends. I was utterly alone, and when faced with reality, what the hell was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to act?

Ash had told the truth, the truth and then some, and I’d just sat there like an idiot, not knowing what to say.

I watched her storm upstairs, and I watched Travis go after her—even though, as dumb as it was, I wanted to go after her. I was the one who got her so upset. The problem here was me; I never knew when to stop fucking things up.

But I didn’t go after her. How could I? How could I go after her when she’d so clearly and confidently put me in my place? When she had multiple guys who were all willing to go the extra mile for her and I was…well, I was me. I didn’t go the extra mile. I didn’t try. The one and only thing I seemed to be good at was fucking up and expecting others to help me pick up my mess.

Declan stood with his hands in his jean pockets, his shoulders slumped. I could tell it took everything in him to not follow Ash, to remain in the living room with me. He looked…more mature than I remembered him being, no longer the dorky friend of mine who had a thing for my sister. We’d all changed, but not all of us for the better.

He was slow to draw his dark eyes away from the staircase, landing it on me. I sat, hunched over my knees, resisting my urge to get up and storm up those stairs myself. Even now, I wanted to go up there and follow her, tell her that I…

Tell her that I was sorry, for all the good it would do.

No, it was way too late for apologies. Everything she’d said was completely true, and I—

Wait a minute. Everything she said?

“You told me about what happened with her ex, but you didn’t tell me about Brooklyn,” I said, recalling what she’d said. Almost getting raped because of Brooklyn, Brooklyn hitting her with her car. I just…how? Brooklyn didn’t seem that crazy, but then again, she was willing to dye her hair pink just to be with me, so maybe that should’ve keyed me into her particular brand of crazy.

“I…there’s been a lot going on” was what Declan said, being as vague as ever.

Funny how everyone told me all about Ray Ruiz, Ash’s crazy as fuck ex, but they never told me about mine. Brooklyn was an attempted murderer and a would-be rapist. I didn’t…honestly, even now, the night of the party was a blur, but bits and pieces had come to me. Small parts. Brooklyn did invite me to a Stanton bash, and I went because I…because I had nowhere else to go, and I was tired of cleaning my place after I threw parties.

“Brooklyn almost had Ash raped?” I spoke the words Ash had said, feeling them in my bones. It was not a pleasant feeling, being upset for someone else, and feeling guilty, like it was all my fault. After all, Ash and Brooklyn had only met because of me, because of the stupid shit I did.

Declan nodded once. “If Travis wasn’t there watching, it would’ve happened, too.”

Travis saved her? Then I supposed it was a good thing Travis was the one who was up there with her now. I sluggishly got to my feet, feeling, for the first time in a while, the need to flex my muscles, the need to…to hit something. Maybe even someone.

Again, for the first time in a long time, Declan wasn’t the one I wanted to hit. I knew it wasn’t right to want to hit a girl, but come on. There were lines—and while I’d crossed them all, Brooklyn had, too.

“She tried to have Ash raped, and she hit her with her car?” I asked, meeting Declan’s eyes.

Declan’s mouth was a thin line, and it looked like he was lost in his own thoughts. “Apparently not in that order, but yeah.”

Brooklyn had tried to kill Ash. The sentence didn’t want to sit in my head, because it just didn’t sound right. My mind whirled. “And none of you guys called the cops on her? None of you did anything? You just sat here, watching me, like I’m the one who needed your help. You should’ve been helping Ash, not me—”

“We were helping Ash,” Declan cut in, “by helping you.”

I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that, but I took offense to it. “That’s fucking stupid.”

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