Really, I just didn’t want him there. It was the one place that didn’t remind me of him, my place, and I really wanted to keep it that way.
“I know, but I’m worried about you.”
I knew what that was code for, and I ground my jaw, turning my face to the side, refusing to look at him in the eye. I’d already told him everything that I’d told the police, and there was nothing objectionable there.
The disappointment of the Briggs family. Me, but then again, it was the only reason I was able to do whatever I wanted. The family secret was safe.
We made it to my apartment, and I turned to face him, giving him my best smile. “Really, I got it from here.”
“Do you need help cleaning it up, or—”
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Code for: everything will be fine, you can go back to your life as the dean of Hillcrest and forget I exist.
Not for long, though, because I was transferring next semester. But one thing at a time.
My dad gave me a long look, a hard look, one that said he wasn’t sure if I was capable of being on my own. He could fuck off. I’d spent the last few years alone just fine, working hard and studying hard. I’ll be the first to admit, since meeting Ash, those habits had fallen to the wayside. It was hard to pay attention to my life when I knew Ash’s life was ticking.
“Okay, well, if you need anything or change your mind, you know how to reach me.” My dad said nothing else as he walked away, and I made sure he got on the elevator before heading into my apartment.
It was like I never left, minus a sore stomach and a nasty wound that would scar.
I locked the bolt behind me, walking slowly to my room. I threw my prescriptions onto the bed, frowning. My blood was on the floor, dried into the carpet. There was no cleaning that; just replacing it. As I stared at the blood, I couldn’t help but remember it.
The screaming still kept me up at night sometimes.
I moved to my dresser, sluggishly dropping to my knees. My hand went to pull out the bottom drawer, and I winced as I moved around the clothes, stopping only when I found it. Instantly, I relaxed.
It was still here, still safe.
Though it was a bad idea, because every time I looked at it new ideas popped into my head, I pulled it out, lifting it through the clothes. A small black diary, boring at its face, but inside…oh, it’s pages spilled some dirty little secrets. I flipped open its front, running my fingers down the girly handwriting.
Dad didn’t know I had this. Sabrina’s journal. Her real journal. The one where she actually told the truth. Dad didn’t know a lot of things about me, and if I had my way, it would stay that way.
I exhaled a sigh, ignoring the ache in my stomach as I put the diary away and shut the drawer, like it didn’t exist.
Someday soon a reckoning would come. Someday soon the truth would be brought to light. The truth had never tasted so bitter and sweet. This reckoning would rock the very foundation everything the Briggs family thought they knew.
What could I say? Sometimes you couldn’t even trust family.