Page 61 of Spite

Chapter Twenty-Two

I ran my tongue around the sucker in my mouth, staring at Christian at his lunch table. Surrounded by other jocks, he looked at home. He laughed at whatever they said, his blue gaze flicking to me every so often. When our eyes would meet, his smile widened, every single time. He’d been like this ever since that night. Either he was a good actor, or I had him.

I had Christian Moore right where I wanted him.

Alec sat to my left, Georgia to my right. Georgia was busy talking about the dance, which was in three days. Three days, and all my hard planning would finally come to fruition. I really hoped I wouldn’t chicken out before then.

“Are you sure your dad is going to let you go? Aren’t you grounded for another week?” Georgia asked. I’d told her, Alec, and Xander what had happened that night. Had to, since I came out of that particular Friday night with a date to the dance.

I was slow to pull out the sucker, sure that my tongue was tinted redder than usual due to the candy. “I’m sure. I can go to the dance, but that’s it. No after party, no dinner beforehand. Just the dance, and then back home.”

Home. If I could even call it a home. After learning that Diane was pregnant, it didn’t feel like my house anymore. Definitely not a home. I was a stranger there, living with two people I didn’t like. Soon enough I’d be out of there for good, and my dad and Diane would be cut from my life as they should’ve been all those years ago.

“And you’re sure you still want to…” Alec trailed off, rubbing his neck. It was a gesture he always did when he was nervous. “You still want to do it?” He meant the plan.

It was at that moment when Christian and I locked eyes again from across the cafeteria. “Yep,” I said, smiling.

Alec sighed, muttering under his breath, “I can’t wait until all of this is done, and I can touch you while in public again.” Yes, keeping his hands to himself had been difficult, but he’d done well. These last two weeks I’d been MIA after school and on weekends, too. It’d been a while since we had any alone time together, and I’d yet to see him and Xander fully make up.

“Keep it to yourselves,” Georgia advised, munching on her sandwich. She ate the same thing, day in and day out. At least my candy lunch varied. She had the same boring sandwich, the same bag full of chips, every single day. “Some of us at this table are single.”

“And by some, you mean just you,” Alec spoke with a grin. “There’s only one of you and two of us. We outnumber you. We could vote you off, you know.” Vote her off, like this was Survivor or something. I laughed at him, which only egged him on. “Keep up your attitude missy, and I will not hesitate to call a tribal council.”

“Oh, stop,” I said, still chuckling, in spite of myself.

The bell rang, and we headed to our lockers. I grabbed my chemistry book and notebook and in two minutes, I was sitting down beside Christian. He wasn’t smiling, but he was watching me. Watching me with a look I could not place. I both hated and liked when he looked at me like that, like he didn’t quite know what to make of me; he didn’t know what to expect when it came to my wonderful presence.

His hair had just gotten cut, so its blonde lengths were shorter. The new haircut made his jaw look squarer, which I was down for. The boy had immaculate bone structure, the kind that sculptors would’ve mimicked.

Bone structure. Did I really just comment and praise his bone structure? Oh, dear Lord. What was wrong with me?

“I can’t wait to see you in your dress,” Christian whispered, leaning closer to me. So close his breath was hot on my cheek. I wanted to inch away, because we were surrounded by other students, not to mention Mr. Burns, who was currently getting the projector in the front of the room ready. Plus, I hated doing anything in front of Jessie. She said she was fine with it, but I didn’t want to rub any of it in her face.

“I bet you look amazing,” he added, his voice heavy, reminding me of the dream I’d had of him. Pushing me up against the house, my legs wrapped around him…oh, if I wasn’t careful, I might need to go splash myself with some cold water.

I shrugged. “You’ll have the prettiest date at the dance.”

“I don’t care about everyone else,” he rattled off, stunning me into silence. Christian Moore didn’t care about everyone else? That was so against his nature, wasn’t it? “I only care about you.”

As the bell rang overhead, I teased him, “Cool your jets, Christian. Last I checked, we aren’t dating.” Worry and doubt crept into my tone, and I bet he noticed it. Hell, if he were to ask me out right here and now, I didn’t know if I’d have the strength to deny him. I saved all my inner strength and willpower for Snowball.

“No, we’re not. Not yet.” It was those last two words that got to me. The not yet part that made me spazz out.

Was he really so confident that we’d end up together? Or was he just trying to play me like I was playing him? I didn’t know what to think, and I was scared to think about its implications. I didn’t want to be with Christian. I had Alec and Xander. They were enough. They had to be enough. These crazy, fluttering emotions inside of me could go take a long walk off of a short pier. Everything would be easier without them.

His words were all I could think about during the last few periods of the day. Even during photography, when I was supposed to be relaxing and enjoying my time with Xander, I couldn’t stop remembering what Christian had said.

Not yet.

Not yet my ass. I wouldn’t…I couldn’t.

Xander sat beside me. We were at a table in the back of the room, where the students who’d chosen a digital media could use the computers. I had the memory card from the digital camera inserted, but as I roamed through the pictures I’d taken, none caught my eye, mostly because my eyes were not on them. Okay, they were, but they were most definitely glazed over.

“What’s wrong?” Xander asked, his dark eyes on me. His long black hair was swept aside, allowing me to see the piercing in his brow and the one on his lower lip unhindered.

I wanted to shrug it off and say nothing was bothering me, but I couldn’t lie to him. “Christian made a comment during chemistry. He said it’s only a matter of time until we start dating.”

Xander winced at the words, his pale face frowning. “And what about that makes you so upset?”

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