Page 55 of Spite

Chapter Twenty-One

Everything was going according to plan. I’d spoken to Jessie, got her okay to go along with it. I was still somehow both sane and Christian’s lab partner in chemistry, and I juggled both Alec and Xander outside of school. When I had moments of free time at night, I spent it on my laptop, learning how to cut videos and add audio to pictures. It was all coming together. Slowly, but coming together nonetheless.

I almost felt ready, but a part of me knew I’d never truly be ready. This was what I’d been dreaming of for the last few years. Leah and I had joked about it for so long, but it was only after my mom’s death that it blossomed into reality.

I was really going to do this.

Snowball was less than two weeks away. I still had some time, but I felt stressed. Like I wore myself too thin, spread out over too many projects. My photography portfolio, the English project with Georgia, and my scheming of Christian. I wanted to sleep for a month straight.

Oh, yeah—I wanted to sleep, but I often found myself lying awake in my bed, staring at the darkness surrounding me. It wasn’t so much that my mind wouldn’t stop working, it’s just that sleep wouldn’t come. Almost like sleep itself had decided I wasn’t worth visiting most nights.

Damn it. Maybe it all stemmed from what I was starting to feel toward Christian. Maybe I felt guilty. Maybe I hated myself, just a bit, for feeling anything toward the bully who’d tortured me day in and day out for years. I mean, I had Xander and Alec.

I was at my desk, doing homework, when my phone rang. I checked the number and saw Alec’s name, picking it up immediately. “Hey,” I said, unable to hide the smile from growing on my lips. Not like he could see it, but whatever. “What’s up?”

“Come outside,” he said, and then he hung up.

Blinking, I stared quizzically at my phone for a while, and then I thought what the hell am I waiting for? I got up, found some flip-flops, and headed down the stairs, shouting for my dad and Diane in the living room, “I’ll be right back.” In truth, I had no idea what Alec wanted or if I’d be leaving the house or property, and I didn’t care. Anything to get me out of there.

Alec was in his car, and I got in the passenger’s seat, leaning across the dash to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “What’s this about?” I asked, grinning. Alec’s presence always made me feel so giddy. Like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

“I figured we could go do a little something, provided you’re up for it,” Alec said, meeting my grin with one of his own, dimples in his cheeks. He’d just shaved, and I could see every smooth line of his jaw and cheeks.

“That depends. What do you have in mind?”

He kept grinning, not saying another word.

As it turned out, he wanted to take me to the park. To the playground, actually, where Xander was, waiting for us on the swings. No other kids were around, no other cars in the parking lot. It was almost dark, and it was a school night. We’d probably be the only ones here until tomorrow, though I highly doubted we’d be staying the night. My dad would not like that. Not one bit.

“Xander’s here?” I asked, feeling something swell in my gut. The idea of Alec and Xander talking to each other again, even if it was only to please me, made me happier than I could’ve said.

I walked with Alec over to the playground, meeting Xander. As we approached, Xander hopped off the swing, a slow smile growing on his face. His smiles weren’t as full-blown as Alec’s, but they affected me all the same.

I hugged the emo boy, squeezing my chest to his. He breathed in sharply, and I let him go. We made our way to the playground’s roundabout, a colorful metal circle with numerous handles that children could spin themselves on. Give themselves headaches, more likely. We sat in a circle on the roundabout, and Alec stunned me by pulling out cards.

Actual playing cards. I let out a chortle. When was the last time I’d played with cards? I couldn’t even remember.

Biting my lip, I said, “I will warn you I only know how to play go fish.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to play poker,” Alec said, and he did. The rules went right over my head, and I was no good at having a poker face—ironic, considering what I’d come to River High ready to do. Destroy these boys, break their hearts and have fun doing it.

And, more importantly, not reveal a single thing to anyone about it.

God, I’d definitely failed on that one, huh?

“I’m surprised to see you two talking to each other to arrange something like this,” I said, glancing between them. I watched the boys look at each other. Things hadn’t exactly been awkward between them since the, uh, threesome, but they hadn’t been comfortable, either. Somewhere in between.

“We want to make you happy,” Xander spoke quietly.

I only smiled, and we continued to play. We played right through dinner, and I ignored the pangs of hunger in my stomach as we started another round. I was losing majorly, no surprise there. Alec was the best, which I figured, since he was the one who brought the cards. Eventually, I had to put the cards down. While it was fun, I’d thought of something else we could do. Something a bit more…intimate.

“Why don’t we do something else now?” I suggested, “How about a little game of truth or dare?” When Alec and Xander glanced at each other, sharing a meaningful look, I said, “No dares too extreme, and no lies.” This could go really badly…but I didn’t want to take it back.

“Fine,” Alec agreed slowly.

All Xander did was nod once, his mouth a thin line.

“Alec,” I said, reaching towards him and playfully jostling his shoulder, “why don’t you go first?”

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