Page 43 of Spite

“He didn’t forget. He was—”

“Embarrassed. Ashamed,” Xander offered. With a sigh, he turned it around on me, “You’re really fine with knowing all that?”

“I actually think it’s kind of hot.” I shrugged as I reached into my backpack and pulled out a sucker. My stash was getting low. I’d have to get more soon. My mom hadn’t left me much when she died, but since I was over eighteen when she passed, it all went to me. Dad got none of it, which was good, because he didn’t deserve shit after leaving her for Diane.

Popping the sucker in my mouth, I turned to look at Xander, who was oddly quiet. “What?”

Xander shook his head, trying to hide the smile playing on his lips. “Nothing. I’m just…I’m happy you’re not running away like Alec did.”

“I would never run,” I stated, praying he believed it. It was true. I wasn’t the type of person who could ever judge others for their pasts. I mean, look at mine. I’d tried to kill myself, all because of bullying, and if I was honest, I still acted like a brat sometimes.

We arrived at Alec’s house, and found his parents weren’t home. Alec was an only child. We had the house to ourselves for at least two hours, Alec said. We dropped our backpacks near the door and headed into his room. It was…not what I expected. Whereas Xander’s room had been full of photographs and clutter, Alec’s was almost obscenely clean. Nothing out of place. Nothing hanging on the tan walls. Not a single sock on the floor.

Hell, it even smelled clean.

“Huh,” I mumbled, moving to sit on his bed. Unlike Xander, he didn’t have a desk, so it was either the bed or the carpeted floor. “This is not what I was expecting.” At my comment, Xander chuckled. He went to lean on the wall near me.

Alec cocked his head, his eyes studying my relaxed posture, the fact that I was on his bed. “And what were you expecting?”

“I don’t know.” I reclined all the way back, sighing at the comfortableness of his bed. I could literally fall asleep right now, push away all my worries and surrender to the blackness of oblivion. “Not this.” Now wasn’t the time to fall asleep on Alec’s bed, though. We had other shit to talk about.

“So,” Alec started, glancing at Xander. A quick, almost sneaky glance, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed to look at his ex-friend and his, I guess, ex-boyfriend. Things were complicated around here, weren’t they? “What do we all need to talk about?”

Holding my sucker, I twirled it, watching the red candy swirl in the air. “First, I need both of you to swear yourselves to secrecy. What we talk about here can never be spoken of anywhere else, with anyone else.” With my free hand, I held out my pinky.

Were we about to pinky swear like we were in first grade? You bet your fucking ass we were.

Alec let out a sigh, the first to move closer to the bed and meet my pinky with his. His was a strong pinky, and though the touch was gentle, fast, I couldn’t help but shiver when we touched. Before releasing my pinky from his, he said, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” He grinned. “Wait, wrong thing.”

I laughed, putting the sucker in my mouth before pushing him away. Next, I offered my outstretched pinky to Xander. I waggled my pinky as much as I could, playful as I tried to get him to lighten up.

“Fine,” Xander said. He pushed off the wall, moving to the bed, closer to both me and Alec. His pinky was more slender, but it wrapped around mine with no problems.

Once everyone was sworn in, once I had them sitting on the floor before me like I was their regal queen with a candy addiction, I told them everything. Mostly everything. I did leave out the part about making them fall in love with me, because I didn’t want either of them to think that I’d used them, even if I had, at first.

Sure, at first I wanted revenge on them all, but now—now I had feelings for these guys. Now I really cared for them, and all of my hatred was pointed toward one Christian Moore. Now, I wanted them both on my side. I wanted them to get along.

And, say, if they wanted to make up with each other, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. Might be fun, and would definitely be hot.

It took me a while, but I explained it all. What I planned on doing, how I planned on doing it. My big plan revolved around Snowball, and getting Christian there. Maybe even going as his date. One thing at a time.

“I don’t go to dances,” Xander said. “I wouldn’t be of any help.”

Alec tossed him a look. “I think that’s why she’s telling us. She wants us both there, as backup.”

“But I don’t—”

My sucker was long finished, and I slid off the bed, landing on the floor before Xander. I set a hand on his knee. “Please,” I said. “I’ll beg, if you want. I’m not above it. I want you both there.”

Alec, I had hook, line, and sinker. Xander, on the other hand, was more resistant, which I’d expected.

“How do I know you’re not just using me?” Xander’s dark eyes flicked to Alec. “I don’t want to be used again.” Beneath his black shirt, his shoulders were hunched, sleeves drawn to his wrists, where thick leather bands sat to hide the flurry of scars.

“Because I—” Damn it, almost professed my love for him. Way too soon for that shit. I wasn’t even sure what love felt like after the roller coaster that was my life. “—I care for you. Both of you. I like you both.”

Alec ran a hand through his brown hair, his green eyes vibrant and on me. Zeroed in on me like I was the only other one in the room. “Like us as friends or…” Though he trailed off, it was obvious where he was going with it.

“More than friends,” I said instantly. “I want us to be more than friends, and I don’t want there to be any judgement whatsoever.” No judgement for my revenge plot with Christian, and no judgement when it came to our relationship.

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