Page 42 of Spite

Chapter Seventeen

Photography passed in a blur. Ever since that day when I went to Xander’s house, saw his portfolio, time seemed to pass by far too quickly when I was with him. Maybe because I was actually enjoying the time I spent with him—such a switch. Such a gargantuan change from what I’d expected on that first day.

And it was our fast bonding, and maybe partially that blowjob I’d given him, that made Xander agree to see me after school.

After we were done in photography, I walked with him to his locker, watching him grab his backpack with a smile. “Have you ever thought about getting your hair cut?” I asked, watching as his long, black hair fell over his eyes, over the piercing on his brow. He had such a pretty face, and his hair usually hid it.

All Xander did was turn his dark eyes on me and shake his head. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned me, as if I was about to offer to cut it for him. I thought it would only make him look hotter, but hey, to each his own.

Since most of the underclassmen rushed to leave, the halls were mostly empty by the time we made it to my locker, where Alec stood, leaning his back against the painted metal. Brown, like our school colors. Hideous. Nearly everything here was brown or orange, but that was beside the point. The point was, Alec was here, and so was Xander.

The two boys stopped and stared at each other. Alec’s mouth might’ve dropped a little, but I tried not to notice as I cut between them and went to my locker. “Don’t freak out,” I said, more of an advisory than anything. I didn’t want either of them to storm off, unhappy the other was here with me.

Xander said nothing, his brown eyes heavy as they focused on me, ignoring Alec entirely. I understood that, since Alec had ghosted him the moment he’d learned Xander was coming back to River High, but if the boys wanted me, they’d have to play nice. They’d have to help me, show that they were on my side one hundred percent.

“Why is he here?” Alec asked me.

With Alec on my right and Xander on my left, I felt oddly comfortable, like this people sandwich was natural. A weird thought, right?

“I need you. Both of you. I thought we could all do something tonight, hang out or whatever—” Smooth. “—and talk.” I sounded so cringe-worthy right now, it was ridiculous. I was ridiculous for thinking this could work, that I could have both Xander and Alec on my side. In every high school movie, in every love triangle, didn’t the girl always have to choose?

Although, if I said it was a love triangle, that would exclude Christian, who I apparently had a deep-seated attraction to, somehow. So…a love square? A love pyramid? I didn’t know; geometry was not my favorite math class. Me and shapes, angles and all that, didn’t mix well.

Xander’s voice was low when he said, “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

“Nothing at all to say,” Alec agreed. Well, at least the boys were on the same wavelength as each other, but they weren’t on mine. I had to get them on mine, though. They were once Christian’s posse; now they were mine. They just didn’t know it, yet.

“Please,” I said, closing my locker, my backpack around my shoulders. My eyes flicked between the two, and I sent them desperate, pleading looks. Come on. How were they going to say no to me? “Can you guys do it for me? Can we all put aside our pasts, just for tonight, and see where it goes?”

I waited for their reply, hoping with all that I was they would agree. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? We hang out, dig up the past a bit? We all had a tumultuous past, especially with each other. There was nothing stopping us from figuring it out like adults and getting over it.

“Fine,” Alec was the first to relent. “Where are we going?” He didn’t wait for Xander to agree verbally, for the other boy was busy nodding as he nibbled on his lip ring.

“I was hoping one of your houses,” I said. For some reason, I had the feeling it was going to be a long night. We all had a lot to unpack. Plus, if I truly wanted these two on my side, they had to know just how badly I needed to go after Christian. They needed to know I’d lost sleep over it. And, of course, they needed to know I’d do anything to make that sexy, good-smelling bastard pay.

We chose Alec’s house, mostly because mine was out of the running, and I knew Xander would’ve felt odd bringing us both over. Alec said his parents were cool, so I hoped that meant they would leave us alone.

As we walked into the school’s parking lot, I reached for Alec, grabbing his hand, which caused him to turn and look at me. “I’m going to ride with Xander, okay?” Alec’s eyes flicked to Xander, and I wished I knew what went on in that mind of his.

“Okay,” he said after a moment. To Xander, he managed to say, “You remember where—”

Xander cut in, “Of course I do.” His eyes were busy staring at Alec’s and mine’s hands intertwined, and I slowly released Alec, returning to Xander’s side. As Alec wandered to his car, I trailed him to his.

Once we were inside, I asked, “You’re not mad, are you?”

He started the car and backed out of his parking spot. “No, I’m not mad.” More toying with his lip ring. “I’m just…I haven’t talked to Alec since…” Xander stumbled over his words, which I found immensely adorable.

“I know,” I said, and when he didn’t respond, I said again, “I know.” A different tone this time. A tone I hoped told him that I didn’t just know he hadn’t talked to Alec in a while, but that I knew why they stopped talking.

We were at a stop sign, and Xander’s dark eyes turned to me. His mouth was open, but he couldn’t find the words to say. I wanted to touch him, to hold him, to tell him everything was okay, that I didn’t think of him differently—but I held back, mostly because he was driving and we were still on school property.

“I think you have a clear shot to take a turn,” I mumbled, my eyes scanning the empty road we had to turn onto. I should be texting Diane and telling her I wasn’t coming home until late, but that could wait. She and my dad could wait.

Xander finally took the turn, and it was a long minute before he said, “When you say you know…”

“Alec told me what happened between you two,” I spoke cautiously, not wanting to make him mad at Alec for telling a secret that wasn’t just his. It was Xander’s too. I didn’t think anyone knew but me. “You could’ve told me, you know. I don’t think less of you.”

An incredulous smile spread on Xander’s face. “I can’t believe Alec told you. I always assumed that secret would die with him, with how quickly he forgot everything.” I recognized his tone. Bitter; he sounded bitter.

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